[tmtranscripts] Nebadnia 11.15.04 - The Need To Choose

[JERRY LANE]

Dear Folks,    Here are the latest insights and encouragements from Mother 
Spirit.  Enjoy!  Jerry - Nytrayn at msn.com.

Nebadonia 11-15-04

Marin TM Group

Dear Michael and Mother,    What a fine evening this is when You come to 
visit us.  We do so look forward to it.  These few precious moments in our 
whole week give us the opportunity to forget ourselves, to really listen to 
Your message which we cherish so much.  So we thank You for Your 
graciousness - Your generosity to Your children.  We send You all of our 
love.  Amen.

Nebadonia:  My dear children, this is your Mother, Nebadonia.  Can you feel 
My spirit?  I am in the very intention with which you reach for Me.  I am as 
close to you as you are to yourself.  There is no separation here.  You need 
not look for Me, My children, for I am in the eyes with which you see.  I am 
in the ears with you hear.  I am in the thoughts that you think.  Just as 
Michael is in your heart, and our Father surrounds us all.

Life lives within life - in both directions.  We live in the living body of 
our Father.  He surrounds us.  He nourishes us.  He sustains us.  He 
recreates us moment by moment, and yet we are free.  Though we live in Him, 
and He lives right within us, He gives us ourselves by our very nature, by 
the way in which we were created.  He gives us to ourselves, so we can 
choose who and what we will become.

Recently Michael and I have invited you to feel complete.  We have invited 
you to realize that you are a living part of absolute reality.  You need do 
nothing to fulfill yourself.  There is nothing you are lacking to be a 
living center of absolute experience.  This is what Michael and I mean when 
We invite you to rest in Us.  Be not anxious for your reality for it resides 
in our Father.  We are in His hands and They are secure far beyond your 
ability to know.

Now: here comes another moment…and another…and another.  They too will be 
yours forever.  Think about this - with Me – for a moment.  Our Father is 
inexhaustible.  He will always be there, creating us.  You will always be 
there.  When you think of the future, My children, don’t forget to put 
yourself in the picture! - whether on Urantia, or on the mansion worlds, 
whether on Salvington - the headquarters world of Michael and Myself, or any 
of the thousands of evolutionary worlds you will visit, just getting 
started.

This is what you will become, and it will be you and no one else, because at 
each step, you will have a choice.  Now this might sound frightening, for 
you will never outrun your need to choose.  But this, too, is a choice.  You 
can choose to welcome the very need to choose, day by day - sometimes, as 
you well know, even minute be minute, just to get through next minute!  But 
you can choose to welcome this as a most precious gift of our Father.  For 
with this need, you can co-create, with Him, your own life.  This makes it 
yours.  Can you see the necessity of this, My children?  Can you see how 
this has to be for you to be yours and His alone?  There in no escape from 
reality, for there need be none.  You are real.  You participate in 
creation.

Now for the miracle: in this, too, you can grow without limit.  This is an 
ability you share with our Father. This is another choice you are given.  
You cannot only accept this need to chose, you can put your full will behind 
it.  This way you can make the power of necessity your own.

You are a single living cell in a gigantic body.  As such, you are carried 
along by life itself.  On the physical plane of existence, you know of the 
size of the universe and its motions.  Yet within this almost absolute 
regularity, there is something of the next moment that our Father creates 
afresh and new.  The living body of God continues to grow.  And as you 
continue to grow, you can have this choice of what you will become.  This is 
not foreordained.  This is a true choice and you make it moment by moment, 
day by day.

So We invite you to give it your attention, My children. Think about your 
life!  Wonder about it.  Use the spiritual power of your personality to 
imagine: what do I want to become?  All the while you are resting in Our 
absolute assurance that you already are.  Does this tickle your spirit of 
adventure, My children?

Group:  Yes!

Can you see our Father’s graciousness in all of this?  Can you welcome and 
appreciate His gift of your freedom?  Can you help Him help others be free?  
Now you feel this security in trusting Him to create the next moment…and the 
next…can you let go and give yourself to others, knowing that it is not only 
you yourself but also He who will recreate you again?  This is the joy that 
He offers His children, right in the way He created you: that together you 
go forward forever.  This is a bit to think about, My children.  So I ask 
you to ponder these spiritual truths in the coming days.  Give yourself 
permission to rest in Me, and know - through Me - your own faith in our 
Father’s endless creativity.

But for now, let Me answer any questions or comments you might wish to share 
with Me.

Student:  Yes, Mother.  You talk about choices and choosing to live as God 
intended us to live, and being asked about our intentions. There are some 
choices that determine a certain path or a direction of our life.  And I 
feel like I’m at one of those crossroads - where the choices I make 
determine many lives, affect many lives.  Because I’ve been, lately, pushed 
and pulled from many different people about moving into a bigger house 
because the place we live in is small.  My lady friend’s sons want this.  My 
mother is pushing to do this, or make a decision.  And now my daughter wants 
to come and live with me.  And so there’s this great push for me to make a 
decision within the next couple of months of: either we continue living 
together and move into a bigger house that will accommodate my daughter as 
well, or for me to carry on with just my daughter, living where I live now.  
But it’s not a decision I can take lightly – obviously – with so many lives 
involved.

And the fears that come up with this decision are in the process.  And for 
the life of me, I have been praying for guidance for the good of everyone, 
and not just myself and my own evolution and expansion.  It’s a fear of 
being confined and trapped, even a fear of losing my connection, or not 
honoring my connection to the Source of spirit.  And I have tried to 
meditate on it and to let it go.  I get pulled from all these different 
directions.  It’s like I’m in the middle, juggling all these people, 
juggling all these thoughts and ideas, and I’m just trying to be honest 
myself, and be clear about the direction I am to take.  Can you offer me any 
insights, or a different, a different perspective that maybe I’m not aware 
of?  I would greatly appreciate it.

Nebadonia:  Yes, D, My son.  You touch My mother’s heart with both the 
clarity and the depth to which you are willing to embrace the complexity of 
the situation.  You are to be congratulated and encouraged in this.  For as 
you’ll remember, this is exactly what we have talked about before.  This is 
the stretch, is it not, My son?  And in this you can take heart, in thinking 
of the future, how much you have opened yourself already to these folks who 
are dear to you, each with his or her individual viewpoint, and separate 
understanding, and desires.

This is the situation, and the thing to be avoided at all costs is a kind of 
simple-minded impatience with these dear friends and relatives of yours who 
are relying on you.  In this I’m trying to offer you a sense of your own 
freedom: that you are choosing to be in this situation.

Now: for a matter of timing.  As you know from reading about Michael’s life 
on Urantia, there is a sense of fullness of having enough information about 
the situation, and the situation itself reaching a certain maturity, before 
some of these decisions you feel called upon to make will be ready.  It may 
be too soon, and not yet necessary.  And so it is a matter of using your 
time wisely to explore and to experiment within your own mind, as much as 
you can, very much as you are already doing.  You have to imagine and then 
explore these different alternatives.

You have to talk about these with everybody involved, so they too can help 
carry the weight, with each person appreciating the weight they are placing 
on another - especially with respect to your dependent children involved.  
Help them appreciate, as much as possible, at their age, what they are 
asking of you.  This will help them mature by giving them a foretaste of the 
decisions they themselves will have to make someday.  It can also help to 
narrow or confine this realm of decision to that which is rightly yours, so 
you are not taking on any unnecessary burden that belongs to someone else.  
Otherwise, in doing so, you are only somewhat sabotaging their need to 
decide in order to grow their own maturity, no matter what their age.  Again 
I commend you upon your ability to perceive and then express the complexity 
involved, and your willingness to accept your part.  Does this help?

Student:  Yes.  It’s interesting because I guess You are saying kind of: 
wait it out and see how things unfold, instead of making a rash decision 
based on emotional and mental ideas or energies.  Because I have been saying 
I feel the need, ‘cause I know how things work in my life, and how the 
universe is - to let things unfold naturally.  But it seems like everyone - 
C, my mother, my daughter - don’t want to do that.  They want to get this 
thing moving now; and that doesn’t work for me.  And also, I did think it 
would be good for all parties to meet and talk about this decision, and how 
it affects all of us.  And how it affects me, and go from there.  And C has 
said to me that she has even thought about moving out on her own with the 
two boys because she needs a different environment.

Nebadonia:  Well D, I cannot recommend too highly this sharing of 
responsibility, especially with the younger folks - so they can see directly 
what it is to be an adult.  This they need most of all.  Its a false 
parenting to shield the children too much from all the forces of life 
pulling at you all.

Student:  Well, also how their actions and energy affect me and their mother 
and the people around them.

Nebadonia:  Yes, very much.  This is what you call feedback - without which 
there is no connection, for them, between what they do and its effects on 
others.  This is what everyone needs most of all so there is not a 
disconnect between attitudes, behavior, and desires, and what these do to 
others.  For if there is this disconnect, especially with the young ones, 
they have no way of telling where to go, how to behave.

So share your life as fully as possible with them so they don’t get a 
distorted and only partial view of what is happening.  Otherwise, events can 
suddenly overtake everyone with an enormous shock - because the foresight, 
even the apprehension, is not being shared.  It is difficult sometimes to 
share your fears and confusion and simple human inability to penetrate the 
future.  But in the sharing itself there is a great spiritual value of: no 
matter what happens, we’re in this together.  Even if the future should 
rightfully bring about separation, at least let us be together now.

All this experience will become a part of each of your souls, and the more 
you can share and give to each other at each moment, the stronger you all 
grow.  I will not judge the specific behavior or recommend any to you.  I 
don’t think you need it.  I think you are correct in your feelings about the 
part you play in this situation, and so if you feel the need to be a brake 
upon otherwise overly hasty, arbitrary decisions, then express this - and 
welcome a true and honest response from them.  Your being open is the 
greatest leadership you can offer.

Student:  And being honest about my feelings and being open to what they 
have to say.  C knows how unhappy I’ve been recently about things, and 
that’s not how God created me to be.  That is not His intention for me.

Nebadonia:  Well, My son, continue on!  As long as you feel within yourself 
you are not merely procrastinating or putting things off, then take the 
time.  Ask the others in the situation what is being asked of you.  I’ve 
tried to convey this evening the notion of shared responsibility, shared 
burden, shared honesty so that each person knows what they are asking of 
others.  This then becomes the foundation by which you will each know one 
another, and this is what you will base your decisions upon.  Consider these 
things, read them over in the transcripts, and share them if you feel it is 
appropriate.  And be in My love.

(Very long pause)

Nebadonia:  Well, My children, you are a quiet group tonight.  I know I have 
given you much to think about.  I do so partly because you do have the 
ability to record this and read it over as many times as you desire.

There is a great peace here in Michael’s presence.  He is always with us as 
much as we wish.

Student:  Thank you, Mother, for our teacher and friend Welmek, and for 
allowing me to chose the adventure of life as opposed to the burden of life.

Nebadonia:  You are very welcome, My son.  Your ability to choose between 
these - you see what a great gift this is?  These choices are not always 
easy in so far as they are not always transparent.  A real part of your 
human life is in the appreciation of the courage it takes to choose when you 
cannot see all the ramifications of that choice.  But to stay open - then, 
and to continue to learn - to accept these ramifications of your choosing: 
this is truly a triumph of spirit.  And be in My love.

Student:  Thank you, Mother.

(Another long pause)

Nebadonia:  What a marvelous stillness…then the next moment comes…and the 
next.  We part and yet we take a little of each of us with us.  Good 
evening, My dear ones.  Be in My love.