[tmtranscripts] Nebadonia 11.29.04 - Feeling Complete

[JERRY LANE]

Dear Folks,    Sorry for the delay, this session was almost two hours long, 
and took a while to transcribe and edit for sentence structure, etc - to 
capture Mother's meaning.  So here it is for you to enjoy!  Jerry - 
Nytrayn at msn.com

Nebadonia 11.29.04
Marin TM Group

Dear Michael and Mother Spirit,    What a relief it is to rejoin You once 
again after another week of adventure and misadventure; to come home to Your 
presence, safe and secure.  So we ask You to help us tune in to Your 
stillness and Your peace, and open our hearts and our minds to the real 
value of Your spiritual messages.  What a blessing it is to re-emerge from 
this contact with You refreshed and renewed.   Amen.

Nebadonia:  Good evening, My children.  This is your Mother, Nebadonia.  
Relax into My loving embrace.  Feel Me all around you, supporting you, 
encouraging you to find safety in My mothers’ arms.  Breathe deeply.  Let 
the world fade away for awhile.  Here our companionship, our just being 
together with this awareness of each other - this is enough for now.  Just 
relax, deeper and deeper, so that this moment seems to slow and expand - so 
that once again your soul can enjoy the awareness of being complete.

There is a fullness here to be experienced in Michael’s peace in your heart, 
and My love surrounding you and supporting you.  There’s a freedom here, so 
that you can see, and feel, that you are not so much – becoming - more, but 
rather a sensation of - constantly arriving.  For each moment fulfills you.  
And it is in this completeness that you can realize the fullness of your 
choices.  To do this you must let go of the need for a sense of momentum, a 
self-generated sense of momentum, to carry you along.  For this very thing - 
this self-generated momentum - can carry you right through the present 
moment, to the point where you are constantly living by decisions made in 
the past.  For many of you this is so familiar, so unintended, you are not 
aware that there is another way to go through life.  This is not to say that 
there is anything intrinsically wrong about plans, because, on the contrary, 
it is the ability of setting goals and making plans to get to them, that is 
a function of your ability to choose.  What I am suggesting is that these 
plans often become unconscious, and habitual, and in need of a refreshing, 
highly conscious, reappraisal.  Your life has meaning within various 
contexts, and is your ability to keep these contexts conscious that enhances 
the meaning of your separate moments.

We have talked lately about the opacity of the future - the inability to 
know what will happen beyond certain regular occurrences like the passing of 
days and weeks and months, i.e. - the organic timetable of your lives and 
seasons.  But within this regular pattern there is God’s continuous creation 
making each moment, each day, something new.  If you wish to visualize this, 
rather than an opaque wall, see it as standing on the rim of a vast chasm.  
This can be very frightening at first, as the future is to so many, because 
they have a feeling of being somewhat out of control, of being projected 
forward, precisely because they have forgotten that this momentum they feel, 
carrying them along, is self-generated from plans made in the past but now 
become merely habitual.  But if you could be free, moment by moment, you 
could realize that you are standing on the edge of this precipice perfectly 
calm and still.  There is nothing to automatically to push you over the 
edge.  God is continuously creating the ground beneath your feet, one step 
at a time.  And so you could perceive this seeming miracle, that as you take 
a step into the unknown future, you are constantly arriving at the cliff 
edge as it materializes beneath your feet.  Is this not an adventure, My 
sons?  Is it not amazing that this is the way it has been all of your life?

But this is mankind’s true situation.  You can see how generations have 
tried to hide themselves from this unknowable future, first of all, by 
trying their best to control the most impenetrable part of that future, 
their fellow men.  Rather than trust in themselves and their Father, they 
set out to enslave their fellows to ensure they have some choice as to how 
the future will go.  This is part of the tragedy of history.  The only way 
out of the dilemma is to be free and complete in the present moment, to be 
highly conscious and actively co-creating your life with your Father, so 
that you are aware of your fundamental reality.

The fact is, in the stream of life you are constantly arriving, so much of 
the momentum you feel you need is your own unconscious doing.  This is why 
We invite you to practice stillness on a regular basis.  Allow yourself to 
come to a complete stop as much as possible.  Enjoy purely existing.  Then 
you will notice, one at a time, all the various choices you have 
internalized, not only from personal decisions, but from your entire culture 
- your family, your friends, the whole social matrix into which you were 
born and lived, all those thousand and one notions of how you should be 
living your life.  Can you be free to choose anew in the midst of all of 
these?

Also: can you welcome the adventure of realizing your fellow men’s freedom?  
Do you really want them to be free?  Does this represent to you a kind of 
chaos, or the only possible peace on earth?  Think about this.  Try to use 
this vision, of why different folks are fearful of others’ freedom, to 
interpret so much that goes on around you, socially and politically, even in 
the individual families you know.  Use this tool to examine your own 
beliefs, and evaluate your trust in our Father.

Now, My children, can you see the generosity of spirit required to beam 
freedom into everyone you meet?  Can you see how this generosity follows 
from feeling yourself to be whole and complete?  Is there a fear that so 
much of what you know, in your own personal, or expanded family’s, society, 
would simply drop away?  As Michael taught you last week, how else could you 
know the joy of living so unencumbered?  How else could you know the joy of 
living so close to the core, and simply?  Think about this vision of being 
surrounded by truly free, complete, highly conscious individuals, and again, 
ask yourself: Would this be chaos, or peace on earth - contrasted with what 
exists today?  Consider this awhile, My sons, and if you have any questions 
or comments, as always, I am happy to share these with you.

Student:  Mother Nebadonia, as I hear You talk about this freedom, I know in 
my heart that this is the way we were meant to live.  I also perceive that 
we are rapidly approaching a time when this upliftment of consciousness will 
be upon us, to where we can live like this.  And as far as I can perceive, 
we are going to receive help from what is known as the “Galactic 
Federation.”  We’re going to receive help from heaven, shock waves from 
heaven, to bring us, I guess you would say, into a higher state of 
consciousness - so we can begin to live this way.  I’m asking for clarity 
about this, as I’m receiving so much information from so many different 
areas, it’s becoming very confusing to me now.  That is my question.

Nebadonia:  Yes, R, My son.  I think it would help if you recall the 
teachings of Michael when He walked among you as Jesus, stressing the 
preeminence of the individual.  I touched on this, this evening, in trying 
to make personal for you the various techniques to become aware of choices 
you have made in the past, or have merely inherited from your family and 
society - those values and perceptions of what life should be that carry you 
on, day by day, willy-nilly as it were.

You mentioned a number of ways in which various individuals can interpret 
spiritual forces impinging on Urantia.  Setting aside for the moment the 
question of those physical beings you refer to as extraterrestrials, keep in 
mind all that you have learned about spiritual forces.  First and foremost, 
these are personal beings.  All spiritual force comes from a spiritual 
person, so there is no impersonal spiritual force in existence.  Some of 
these spirits precede the existence of the planet.  They are literally 
billions of years old, and have always been here.  Some are much more recent 
- since the Lucifer Adjudication.  These are highly spiritualized, or 
pure-spirit beings who are forever acting from their own wisdom, which again 
repeats what Michael has told you so often, that love, true love is wise.  
True love does not deprive any individual of the right to earn his or her 
own soul.  So keep in mind the evolutionary nature of human progress and how 
it is accomplished one person at a time.

Do you remember in your text where it mentions that your Guardian Angel is 
concerned with your eternal growth, and so, most enjoys that you live a 
rugged life full of the necessity for decisiveness?  This is Gods’ will for 
you, My son.  This is His plan for the evolutionary progression of Urantia, 
and any acceleration of the unfoldment of this plan will only be because 
more and more individuals choose to become more conscious.

One side note that I am sure you will recognize from your study of various 
religions and philosophies as they have occurred throughout human history, 
is that individuals express spiritual truth, as it occurs to them, through 
the filter of their own time and culture and individual imagination, so that 
the exact, identical spirit prompting may find a vastly different expression 
by way of different individuals.

Student:  Yes it does, Mother.  It does answer my questions.  It is as I had 
always felt it was to be, a growth one individual at a time.  Yes, You have 
answered my question.  Thank You.

Nebadonia:  And be in My love.

Student:  Dear Nebadonia, I ask on behalf of my boy and myself and others: 
Is it possible for another Adam and Eve to come, to, maybe, become visible 
heads again of this planet?  I know it would be highly unusual, but would 
there be anything ethically wrong with that, or has it been thought of, by 
the - ah planning boards, that that might be feasible?

Nebadonia:  Yes, V, I understand your question.  You rightly intuit that 
this would be highly irregular.  Keep in mind the primary function of the 
Material Sons and Daughters as they are bestowed, and bestow themselves, 
upon the evolutionary planets.  When you consider their mission - their 
function of biological uplift - I think you can see how the time for this 
function is long past.  It is not that there is an insuffiency of their 
stock within the human race - that your text spent many chapters on 
delineating its spread throughout humanity - but rather the dilution of 
these strains.  And again, I think you will remember that part of your text 
which states very precisely, and humanely, and with great respect for the 
difficulty of socially or politically biologically disenfranchising your 
fellows so as to eliminate the more repressive, socially and biologically 
unfit strains, there is, as yet, on the planet, no competent authority to do 
this.  This would amount to a personal sacrifice for some individuals - 
giving up their ability to have children so as not to pass on undesirable 
traits.

And so you can see this is a kind of sacrifice that can only be made, 
without enormous social pressure, by highly conscious and considerate 
individuals.  As you know, there are already human societies in some 
countries where there is enormous pressure for people to marry later, when 
they are more mature, and then have only one child.  This pressure will grow 
worldwide.  But this question, like so many others, is truly in your hands.  
Another Adam and Eve, while not physically impossible, is highly unlikely.  
Does this answer your question, My son?

Student:  Yes, it does.  And it’s gratifying to hear that there is enough – 
ah - genetic material throughout the world to, that hasn’t been permanently 
lost, to do great things.  ‘Specially my boy was afraid we had lost too 
much, but I see by Your answer that there’s enough Adamic material to vastly 
improve the world with careful planning.  I might ask, though, if the planet 
decides, is there a population that could be more ideal than what we have, 
like a land-man ratio that’s considered a little healthier?  Somewhere we 
say that we might be a third overpopulated or something like that now.  I’m 
not so sure about that.  Would You please comment?

Nebadonia:  Insofar as the useable land mass of Urantia has long since been 
populated, the person-to-land ratio you mentioned, that again, your text 
refers to, would be much more ideal with a smaller population.  But as you 
know, this varies enormously from one country to another.  There are still 
some countries where the infant mortality rate is so great that couples are 
still tempted to have many children just to be sure a few survive.  Now 
there are epidemics occurring on Urantia that, if left unchecked, will kill 
many millions of people in some of the most densely populated areas.

Humanity has always been faced with this situation, and it is indeed a 
tragedy that falls so disproportionably from one generation to the next.  
But there is no hard and fast proportion of existing humanity I can give 
you, My son, since this does vary so enormously from one locale to another.  
Does this answer your question?

Student:  I think it does.  I’m glad to feel I had some understanding of it. 
  I just want to think about it.  Thank You.

Nebadonia:  You’re welcome, and be in My love.

Student:  Yes, Mother.  It seems to be quite difficult living this ideal 
life upon this planet.  I was reading in a book that I read quite 
frequently, about Jesus -in His attempt to live One with the Father, and to 
live on this planet - He found it very difficult himself, and would at times 
go into seclusion and stillness.  Is it for me… because of the understanding 
I have come to experience, it is at times hard to be here, and there are 
times when I feel like I need to hold my tongue while everyone seems to be 
pushing me into certain directions, either do this or do that.  I fail to 
see the wisdom of the action I’m taking or not taking.  I have been taking 
Your advice and Michael’s advice about resting.  But there are times when I 
feel like a stranger in a strange land, or a foreigner to all this.  I even 
told (Name) yesterday, for the first time, some of my deeper understandings. 
  I guess the question I’m asking is: How can I be of greater service with 
what I’ve come to understand and know?  What does the future hold for me as 
I expand and evolve into the glory that I am, as God created all of us to 
be?

Nebadonia:  Yes, D, My son, I would ask you to reflect on Michael’s lessons 
several weeks ago on the nature of sharing and how this is so God-like, so 
much of our Father’s nature that an enormous universe came about because of 
this desire to share.  I think you will find, on a human level, this has 
much to do with learning an ability to articulate, to express, to 
communicate your most fundamental reality to and with another person.

Think of all that is involved in this.  Intrinsic in this expressing 
yourself, is one way of knowing yourself, and even a way of discovering 
those areas of yourself which are almost inexplicably, yet still, sometimes 
very stubbornly, part of you. There is a difficult paradox or contradiction, 
sometimes, in being naked and expressing who you really are, for there is 
always the possibility of rejection or simple incomprehension - by another.  
You mentioned that you have just recently gone, or tried to go, to a new 
level of sharing yourself with another, and I commend you for the courage 
that this takes.  But you will also recall how, in the past, I have 
intimated that in doing so, you may discover even more about yourself.  
Because if you are truly open to what this other person’s reaction is, if 
you are not projecting an attitude as to how you expect them to respond to 
you, if you are truly projecting freedom into that individual and letting 
that individual know that, above all, you love their freedom, then their 
response will trigger new things within you.  And so you find yourself, once 
again, in the position of: is all the rest of this me too?

As you once put it, all of a sudden you seem to be several people.  And so 
you find yourself deeper in the jaws of the necessity to choose who you will 
become. This is part of what I meant by the opacity of the future, or the 
feeling you are standing on the edge of the Grand Canyon.  But rest assured 
a large part of this situation is our Father’s plan, because reality is a – 
continuous – creation.  And a general evolution – the need to keep growing - 
can sometimes seem, to the human heart, relentless!  Once again, My son, try 
to realize, as best as you can, the love behind the necessity.

Student:  It’s like: limitation is the doorway to expansion - it’s a 
challenge.  And, like, necessity - by Ben Franklin, necessity is the mother 
of invention.  That the necessity can open new doors to a greater experience 
of reality.

Nebadonia:  I think it’s best to see the necessity to choose in order to be 
free. You always have the choice of just drifting, or even regressing; and 
in fact you may do so, from time to time, sometimes just to remind yourself 
that these, too, are possibilities when you refuse to choose.  Keep in mind 
how much all things are possible, even what you would consider to be highly 
negative.  This is why your loving Guardian Angel, above all wants to help 
you keep out of any kind of prolonged stagnation.

Student:  Then You feel like I’m procrastinating at this time, that I’m 
drifting, that I’m not making the choices or deciding?

Nebadonia:  This, My son, is not for Me to decide.  I mentioned these as 
possibilities, as a further explanation of what I meant by the necessity to 
choose in order to be free.  This is something that stillness, and 
reflection, and a lot of good old trial-and-error will help you decide in 
your heart and in your soul.  But this, as you can see, is one of the 
primary needs for reflection: more decisions, more evaluations, more 
forgiving yourself from time to time for your mistakes and your errors.  For 
without the ability to make a mistake, you are not living up to your full 
potential.

As before, My son, I commend you for the courage to keep these 
considerations conscious, and open, and flexible, and free; and to grant as 
much of this freedom to your immediate family as possible.  Share with them 
as much as you can.  They need this as much as you do.  As I said before, 
this openness is the greatest leadership you can show them by example.

Consider these things, My son, and drop back and read some of the other 
lessons again.  You’ve probably discovered already, that each time you read 
them, you are a slightly different you, and different parts that you need 
stand out.  And be in My love.

Student:  Thank you.

(Long pause)

Nebadonia:  Are you still here, C?

Student:  Yes, Mother, I am. (Laughter) Thank You.  I was wondering about 
when Monjoronson gets here in physical form, and this world is judged.  I’m 
concerned about what the word “judged” means.  Being brought up Baptist, 
it’s kind of like getting caught between a rock and a hard place, as the 
saying goes.  It’s a fearful thing.  Even though in my head I recognize that 
it’s done with absolute perfection, and it’s done with mercy, and it’s done 
with love.  Still it concerns me.  Is it also the end of an age like the 
resurrection of sleeping survivors?

Nebadonia:  Well, My son, I think you are mindful of the most important 
considerations of justice tempered with mercy and love.  Monjoronson’s 
mission is mainly one of forgiveness and mercy.  The vision I gave you this 
evening is a way for each individual to bring to a stop much of what you 
have come to know of as Karma - which is a total psychological and spiritual 
cause-and-effect by which one generation after another passes on certain 
undesirable behavior.  This is probably best known to you in the phenomena 
of children, who have been severely physically abused, often become parents 
who likewise abuse their own children.  Forgiveness, even of a parent who 
has hurt you so badly, both physically and psychologically, as a child, is 
the only way to be free, the only way to stand on that cliff edge of an 
impenetrable future and not feel that something is continually trying to 
push you over the edge.  So that out of desperation, and a certain 
callousness, you seek to control, by way of fear or pain, those more 
helpless around you.

Urantia could use a great helping of Monjoronson’s forgiveness and mercy, 
and it is to effect these changes in the way people feel, and think, and 
experience themselves, is why He has chosen to come.  As I answered your 
brother, R, a little bit ago, this will all be effected on an individual 
level by increasingly conscious individual choices which will make that 
vision I presented to you more obvious and more welcome.  The more you 
understand the Father’s way, the more you will realize what a gift it is of 
His - that He puts so much of your life in your hands.  This is because He 
is love itself.  So let yourself be warmed by this sure and certain 
knowledge of the Source of what you are capable of feeling. Does this answer 
you, My son?

Student:  Yes, and You mentioned the word Karma.  I’ve always looked on the 
word Karma as an inevitability and You didn’t seem to think of it like that. 
  It’s more like something that interferes with choice.  I’m a little 
confused about that now.

Nebadonia:  The concept of Karma evolved in many cultures as a way of trying 
to express total cause-and-effect, not so much strictly in the material 
realm as you know of it as physical science, but in a 
psychological-spiritual realm where one kind of behavior leads to another, 
even from one lifetime to another.  In this sense it tries to express a 
sense of justice where good deeds are rewarded not only within one lifetime, 
but in continuing lifetimes; and the same for a bad deed which can come back 
to haunt you in a further life.  But keep in mind that these cultures who 
developed this concept – psychological-spiritual cause-and-effect, which we 
looked at in the case child abuse - also came up with the remedy, a way of 
ending bad Karma.  Never forget that this wisdom was focused on how to break 
the chain of Karma - how to step out of the round of birth - or rebirth - 
and death, and be free, by realizing that there is this total 
cause-and-effect.  This is what we have been studying this evening: How do 
you become conscious of that which you are doing, so you may have a clear 
choice?  This is the sense I was using, the meaning I was giving to the word 
Karma.  Does this clarify the situation?

Student:  Yes, it does very much.  I see freedom of choice has much more 
meaning than it did before this conversation.  Thank God I’m not like a 
victim of the past, so to speak, and yet I find myself in that position of 
being controlled or having myself driven by the past.  But not so much 
anymore, I’m discovering.  Which is very – ah - reassuring that it’s not 
going to stay the same old stuff.  So, yes, it does answer the question, and 
I expect more to come.  So thank You, Mother.

Nebadonia:  I must say it gives Me great joy to see you welcoming this 
perception - that things are not going to be the same, for this is exactly 
what so many fear, so unnecessarily.

I commend you all this evening, on going to the heart of this evening’s 
lesson and asking those very precise questions that try to penetrate the 
future.  For this is your human nature, and this curiosity, this refusal to 
be satisfied with your inability to know the future, this desire to extend 
yourself out over that bottomless chasm of the unknown… This, My children, 
is your greatest triumph.

I hope I have inspired you to carry on with light hearts, and joy.  Good 
evening, and be in My love.

Group:  Good evening, Mother.