[tmtranscripts] Nebadonia 3.28.05

[JERRY LANE]

Dear Folks,    Ooops! - I forgot to add the message! - Jerry.

Nebadonia 3.28.05

Marin TM Group

Dear Michael and Mother Spirit,    We want to thank You for these insights 
You have been giving us into what seems to be unfathomable parts of our own 
nature.  This is especially helpful when we find ourselves getting stuck in 
inertia.  One of our poets expressed this as, “Between the intention and the 
action falls the shadow.”  You have helped us realize how much we may be 
living in that shadow - essentially free, yet unwilling to take the next 
step. So we thank You for Your inspiration, Your encouragement, Your gentle 
little nudges.  Amen.

Nebadonia:  Good evening, My children, this is your Mother, Nebadonia.  I’m 
always so happy to be here with you.  I just bask in the glow of your love.  
For I too have a heart that feels, and the love of My children is a glow 
that illuminates this whole corner of the galaxy.  If you could only see, it 
puts the stars to shame.  This is truly who and what we are.  You are little 
nodules of God set free out here in time and space, living the adventures He 
has set out for you.  Even more marvelous, He is right here with us, sharing 
the adventure with mutually unfathomable anticipation.  Not even He, Our 
Universal Father, chooses to know what we will experience next – until we 
do.

Uncertainly with security - this is the hallmark of spiritual living.  This 
is taking our steps into the unknown trusting that God himself, manifesting 
as a universe, will be under our foot when it sets down, essentially on His 
ground.  Never forget this whole, gigantic universe of impersonal matter and 
energy is His creation.  All that you understand so far as natural law, as 
enormous and profound as it is, is still for you only a beginning, only the 
first chapter of an endless book.

Appreciate that though, for We celestial beings, there is somewhat of a 
finiteness to this material universe of millions of galaxies, for you in 
your day to day life it is truly infinite in both directions: the 
infinitesimal right down into the living cells of your body, and the 
enormity and complexity of the physical world that surrounds you.  This is a 
living world, a world full of all kinds of living beings.  You have 
libraries of tens of thousands of books on biological life which are still 
only scratching the surface - as you merrily munch away on an apple or two 
and trust God’s design for them to sustain your life.

To see with the eyes of spirit does not require you to diminish any other 
realm, either physical or mental.  You do not have to squint your eyes and 
see through a haze of sentimentality to realize a mystery in it all.  There 
is no fundamental disagreement whatsoever between a true scientific method 
and religion - your relationship with Us and with God.  Rather, just as your 
two eyes give you a sense of depth, so too spirit welcomes the fullest 
vision of your intellect and your imagination - your own personal 
creativity, to help you realize so much of your life is an experiment.  I 
should say: It can be, if you have the nerve for it.  But now I’m teasing 
you a bit.  I’m encouraging you to stretch yourselves, My children.

Use your imaginations.  This is the true scientific method.  When you’re 
confronted with a situation, use your creativity to imagine what does not 
yet exist.  Then be honest with yourselves and realize further there’s so 
much you cannot know until you try.  Your own imagination can only penetrate 
so far.  Because you are this creature suspended between the infinitesimal 
and the infinite, because there are so many personal beings with their own 
creativity involved in this living soup you are swimming around in, and 
because your present knowledge and wisdom are still a small part of what is 
happening: there is truly, from a human standpoint, a random factor.  We 
call this the Unqualified Absolute - an absolute reality that impacts you as 
chance, as a certain unpredictable-ness which is part of everything you 
encounter and create.

I am describing the kind of reality you actually inhabit.  This complexity 
impinges upon you in very deep and instinctual ways, ways that you intuit 
through all the millions of years of animal evolution on this planet right 
there in your cells, in the structure of your bodies and brains.  So 
treasure these perceptions, these instincts, these impulses, and let them 
inform you. For most of you have had experiences where little twinges of 
fear or caution, seemingly out of nowhere, have saved your lives. But as you 
note this part of yourselves, realize too that you have to maintain a 
human-being.  Above and beyond, yet threading its way all through your 
physical and mental being, is the spiritual dimension of your unique 
personality.

Here comes then that wise love that We suggested you employ with each other. 
  Don’t forget to employ this with yourself.  With all the power of your 
spirit, love yourselves wisely.  Spend some of the precious moments of your 
life in stillness, to let all your soul experience impinge upon your present 
consciousness.  Let all the wisdom that you have so, sometimes painfully, 
earned, reassure you of your completeness.  For from the standpoint of the 
present moment, your own past may be foreign territory.  You may have to 
explore it to get to know it, to truly make it your own so it can inform 
you.  In this exploration, We have offered you the tool of, as much as 
possible, being open to reliving moments of your past, however painful or 
embarrassing.  Relive them as they originally occurred to you in all the 
pristine freshness of that present moment.  Then see all your judgments 
against yourself for what they are.  They too are real. These judgments on 
yourself are also part of your past, but they are not the original 
experience.  Your souls are so enormous, My children, so enormous.  No one 
will dissemble their surprise when they awaken on the Mansion Worlds and 
suddenly find they are one with themselves.


But to experience this now you have to let go habitual ways of thinking who 
you are, to discover who you really are.  You have Our help in this: My 
encouragement to let yourselves perceive the world and your fellows anew, 
however strange they may appear at first.  You have Michael’s love in your 
heart, so experience His love encouraging you to feel, however painful or 
embarrassing or downright odd this may make you seem to yourself.

You have an enormous reality within you that balances the whole world 
outside.  Use Michael’s Spirit of Truth to sort it out without pre-judging 
it.  For as you know yourselves better and better and are more open and 
complete to yourself, so you will feel all your little spiritual antennae 
which can receive information from those around you - both the spiritual 
dimensions of other people and your whole celestial family.  What a 
treasure!  What an enormously sensitive and delicate perception you can have 
if you will but welcome it.

Think of all the long historical evolution of your religions and 
philosophies: how long it has been that the human race did not consciously 
realize it was such a puzzle to itself.  I think you can see how this 
explains so much of your history.  Yet as Michael assured you last week, God 
created you so much like Him not to plague or harass you, My children, but 
to offer you the opportunity to actually rest - deeply, profoundly - in 
wonder!  There are times when your most sincere expression is something 
like, “Wow!”  Michael and I share this nature with you.  In this spiritual 
sense, you and I are most one.

If you have any questions or comments this evening, let Me wonder what they 
might be.

Student:  Mother, You’ve answered one of the big questions I had this week: 
how to free myself from the burden of my past - past actions, past 
decisions, past ways of looking at myself, and the habits that add up to be 
me.  With the burden I carry it’s still difficult to look at those things.  
So quite directly I ask for Your help, because I’m not willing to look at 
them on my own.  And yet I feel that looking at them is where the freedom 
is; re-experiencing them is where the freedom is.  So once again, thank You 
very much.

Nebadonia:  Yes, C, might I suggest that the freedom to explore the past is 
still only half of what you are capable of.  True, in one way freedom is 
freedom - freedom to look at anything leads to growing.  But at the same 
time you cannot drive down the road of life looking in the rearview mirror 
of the past.  This would have you backing up through life.  Then too, until 
you are free of the past and well established in the present – and this 
includes not using the past illegitimately to prop yourself up or excuse 
what you’re doing - the view from that rearview mirror will always be 
somewhat distorted.

The other half of your freedom in the present is in the other direction, 
time-wise. I’m talking about the future.  It does not yet exist, but it will 
become here-and-now.  Though We have given you so many lessons on the 
unknowable-ness of what exactly will happen tomorrow, there will definitely 
be a tomorrow.

How do you get free in the present?  How do you break out of a strict cause 
and effect that would say, if you were such and such a person yesterday, you 
have to be that same person today?  How do you break out of this kind of 
physical/mental causality?  Do you remember, My son?

Student:  I would have to say no, other than experiencing the past more 
fully - to free myself from the past.  Other than that I don’t know.


Nebadonia:  Not to be unkind, but do you see where you are still oriented?  
The answer I was looking for was – creativity.  Do you remember our talk 
about Mozart and mathematicians, how you have the same ability as those you 
think of as geniuses, to create something new?  You have the ability to 
create a new life that is somewhat independent of the past.  You can 
imagine, and then go out and do something tomorrow you have never done 
before. You may need to do this, however wild and impractical it may be, 
just to convince yourself you need not be bound by the past.  You can just 
let the past be.  A fragment of God is creating your soul.  Nothing you 
experience will be lost.  Even those persons who suffer Alzheimer’s disease 
or senility, when they awaken on the Mansion Worlds will find themselves 
just as complete with their whole life’s experiences as anyone else.  You do 
not have to personally maintain your past.  Be free to explore it all you 
want, but your future is somewhat plastic.  Certainly you have to operate 
within natural law - you can’t sprout wings and go flying, but there were 
men who imagined machines which could take them flying, and not so long ago 
a few of your fellows were standing on the moon.  Trust yourself, My son, to 
release yourself.  What do you want to do?  Create your way forward.  This 
is a spiritual power you may not have used enough.

Student:  Yes, I agree with that!

Nebadonia:  This is why Michael spent so much time last week talking about a 
mysterious aspect of freedom – so mysterious you cannot realize how free you 
are until you are doing it.  Be truly scientific: experiment, try things.  
We do not tell you what these might be because We want you to exercise that 
power.  No one knows your life so well as you, except God.  Use your 
imagination.  If you can, start tomorrow.  Get up, bestir yourself awhile, 
then sit down and imagine something to do which you have not done before.  
Then step out of your bubble of familiarity and do it.  Will you sincerely 
try this, My son?

Student:  Yes, Mother, I will.

Nebadonia:  Write done whatever comes into your mind.  I’ll be with you.  
Let’s see what we can come up with.

Student:  Sounds wonderful to me, Mother.  Thank you very much.

Nebadonia:  You’re welcome, My son.  Remember when I teased you that the 
adventure is just one inch in front of your nose?  Well, lean forward a bit 
and stick your nose in it.

Student:  (Laughing) I will!

Nebadonia:  And stay in My love.

Student:  I was reading the transcripts from last week about freedom, and 
how we treat it as an abstraction, and I think we do…do this.  The idea gets 
thrown around so loosely.  But the real freedom to create the life I want to 
live – I wonder about that.  Sometimes I have a lot of apprehension about 
that.  I’m so used to the one I have.  I know I have dreams, and ideals; and 
I know the kind of life I don’t want to live.  For the past few years I’ve 
desired to create…to love as clearly and sincerely as possible.  I guess I 
just get confused about how I could live.  Like, I’d like to travel with my 
family, but I can’t see how that could happen.  So…I guess I need general 
insights as to how to create my life, and possible…guidance – into this idea 
of freedom.

Nebadonia:  Yes, My son, this is why Michael and I have decided to approach 
this puzzle head-on.  We hope Our insights do not themselves become 
something abstract, but rather something you can internalize, and try.  From 
the standpoint of spirit one of the most colossal errors that human beings 
are making continuously is what We have used your common term of Monday 
Morning Quarterbacking to describe.  That is, as soon as the football game – 
or any past event - is over, everybody immediately thinks they know why it 
went the way it did, and what they could have done differently to change the 
outcome.  This habitual way of thinking is a fantastic over-simplification 
of reality - with which you may be regarding most of history.

True, to a degree this is unavoidable on an unconscious level because your 
very survival depends on your ability to take in what is happening and 
accept it completely, because at each moment, out of all the vast 
possibility of things which might happen, there is this one, singular 
“happening.”  You need the ability to incorporate this instantaneously – 
especially in your highly mechanical society where you are gliding around in 
vehicles weighing many tons, with hundreds of horsepower moving them.  The 
opposite reaction to this acceptance, usually when something painful happens 
to you, you call “denial” – i.e. “I can’t believe this is happening!”

The error comes in when you don’t realize how overly-simple are your notions 
of the past, and achieve a real, complex “presence” in order to face the 
future, but still try to use the same mental mechanism, the same habit of 
thinking everything’s fixed and you can move this piece or that without 
everything else changing. You find yourself stuck because things haven’t 
already happened yet in your eternal now.  People feel that somehow they 
should be able to know completely what is going to happen, as if the future 
were transparent.   They forget that, at each moment of that football game, 
complex things are happening in an unknowable way even a split-second 
beforehand – which is why you play the game, and why it’s so exciting.  But 
when it comes to your own life, you are so conditioned to avoid feeling this 
queasy, organic reality of being a living creature in an open present 
moment, your attention becomes fixated on the past because it seems so 
solid, yet amenable to tinkering.  Much of the uncertainty of being a living 
being you assuage by trying to apply the past to the next moment, right 
through “now.”  This is your bubble of familiarity.  This is why you have to 
give yourselves the courage to really feel the present moment tipping this 
way and that, and knowingly, consciously experiment with your lives.  So 
many people feel deeply embarrassed within themselves because they don’t 
know what is going to happen; yet so much of human anxiety and apprehension 
comes from your very nature - that God intended to be a source of wonder and 
humility.  So allow yourself to wonder, even be awed at the unfathomable 
complexity involved in the organic present moment, the as yet unformed 
future.

If you can share with others this wonder, and both the freedom and the need 
to experiment – you can enjoy some real spiritual teamwork.  This is the 
further humility of realizing how much of human advancement was, and is 
achieved through cooperation.  If you are thinking about travelling with 
others, put your heads together.  Pool your imaginations.  This is the 
scientific method.  When you run into a new phenomena that is not explained 
by all your previous knowledge, you have to imagine the experiments to 
explore it.  Only after the fact does it become obvious that this worked, or 
that didn’t.  And this only tells you what might work when you come to the 
next unknown.  You have to create your way forward.  This is the mysterious 
knack of freedom that you only know by doing it.  But! - this is also the 
unmistakable delight you feel when it is happening, when you are – being – 
free.  Living well is an creative art.

Student:  Yes, Mother, I hear you very succinctly.  It’s interesting 
watching my reactions to that within myself – the idea of living and being 
absorbed in the moment, and creating my future in the moment.  But I also 
feel my own restraints of taking that adventure – the familiarity I’m used 
to – the money I need, the people relying on me – there’s always something 
that keeps me from fully embracing what I truly desire.  Then that’s OK 
because my contemplation and prayer life have been fulfilling.  But my soul 
yearns for adventure, for newness.  I no longer want some abstraction “out 
there”- some carrot dangling in front of me.  I want to eat that carrot, and 
the next one.  I know there is safety and security in my present 
circumstances, but I also know I still need release.  I have taken 
adventures these last three years – having (Persons) in my life, being here 
talking with You and Michael.  I want to spread my wings, but I know it is 
all in God’s own time, when I’m ready and fit to fly. There is a time and a 
place for everything…

Nebadonia:  Yes: all of the above.  You are sitting right in the middle of 
this mystery because you are able to take a comprehensive tour of your 
present life.  This requires a kind of balance.  So think about these last 
few minutes of your summation and see how well balanced it all was.

Student:  There seems to be a knowing within me that change is inevitable, 
and that life gives us clues about which direction will be beneficial 
for…everyone.  So I know there is a delicate balance in pushing myself 
and…when to hold back.  As You or Michael said once: Who is doing the 
pushing?  Who is doing the desiring?

Nebadonia:  Let Me offer the observation that your particular freedom comes 
out as a dialogue with yourself in which you alternate between being 
problematic - as if there were a problem here – and then answering yourself. 
  This is one way you can know what you want to do – you flesh out your 
desires, you articulate the future.  The next moment you can realize how 
fortunate you are compared to those who are somewhat dying of boredom for 
lack of these very desires.  This is a very natural course of thinking, of 
problem-and-answer, and there is nothing wrong with this conversation with 
yourself.  You’ve seen the wisdom of writing this down so you can have some 
objective reflection on your own subjective thought processes.

It helps to feel for Michael’s peace right within all of this.  Feel Our 
love and peace reassuring you that this ongoing conversation is a good 
thing.  In your own way, these are your inner mental experiments.  You think 
of something to see how you will react to it.  Remember Einstein’s 
thought-experiments in which he pretty much imagined his way to great 
understandings about the nature of time and space?  So you don’t genuinely 
worry overmuch in the problem-phase, and get stuck, try to realize a peace 
and love down at bedrock.  Try to feel for this home base of spirit that 
just sits there glowing, and feeding everything else.  Let It All come to a 
stop, if only momentarily.  Know too that right within your own mind you can 
talk with Us, if you want to take a break from the ongoing self-dialogue.  
Feel blessed too that this dialogue is there – you are keeping yourself good 
company.

Well, My children, I feel we have definitely kept each other good company 
tonight.  I know you have felt some reservation because there is a kind of 
erroneous mystery-mongering among human beings We’ve likened to a small 
child with a new flashlight, at noon, running around looking for dark places 
to use it.  There are illegitimate ways of making a mystery out of 
everything: for self-glorification, or self-excuse for not doing anything.  
But then there are genuine mysteries right within your nature because you 
share part of this nature with Us and with God.  An awareness of this 
mystery can instill in you a really genuine, heartfelt and saving grace of 
affection for yourselves and each other.  And this affection can grow to an 
infinity which will never be exhausted, even in eternity.  This living 
potential is also who and what we both are.  Welcome to the family.

Students:  Thank You, Mother.

Nebadonia:  Stay at peace in My love.  Good evening.