[tmtranscripts] Nebadonia 2.13.06
JERRY LANE
nytrayn at msn.com
Sun Feb 19 20:53:45 PST 2006
NebadoniaFebruary 13, 2006
Marin TM GroupMill Valley, CaliforniaU. S. A.
NEBADONIAT/RJL
(Inside and outsideagain)
(The soul of time and space)
(The freedom of denial VS the particularity within eternity)
(Your ancient spiritual family)
(I challenge your mind)
(Negative energy: the Lucifer Rebellion)
(The true spiritual wealth of your soul)
(Renewing oneself: His power and self-power)
(Mother Spirit: recapitulated)
(The Lucifer Rebellions persisting culture)
(The nature of decision: hindsight and foresight)
(The need for feedback)
(The value of flexibility)
Dear Mother Spirit and Michael, We thank You for these wonderful lessons
shining the spiritual light of Your viewpoint on some of our modern
attitudes. Youve mentioned the validity and the usefulness of our
scientific method, where one is required to demonstrate any proposition put
forth. Youve also shown us the limitations of this method and helped us
rest assured in the reality of our inner experience, much of which can never
be demonstrated or proven, or even repeated. So we thank You for this
loving light. Amen.
NEBADONIA: Good evening, boys. This is your mother, Nebadonia. (latecomer
arrives) Ill say good evening again, My lusty sons. This is your mother,
Nebadonia. I enjoyed your rather vigorous conversation just now, for it
shows you are genuinely spiritually curious about these different aspects of
your life, and what value you put upon a deep understanding of these
relationships. This is definitely the way to go. You are experiencing how
your understanding can actually change your reality. This is that irony of
finding what you are looking for. For its a kind of a double-finding--of
finding something, then too that it is actually real. But it wouldnt be
there for you unless you looked for it.
(Inside and outsideagain)
Once again we are at that imponderable demarcation between inside and
outside, between your inner subjective experience and the seemingly purely
exterior world surrounding you, yet how they both influence and give rise to
each other. I think you are beginning to perceive an ever deeper reality.
We gave this the name once of a chasm of the unknown, like standing on the
edge of a cliff with nothing but a lot of empty space out in front of you,
so that as you take each step forward, its as if you are stepping off into
nothing and the ground just magically forms under your foot each step.
We appreciate how scary this vision is, and the courage it takes to perceive
your life this way, to allow into your consciousness the intimations of all
you cannot know until it happens. You just mentioned in your prayer that
much of your inner life does not repeat itself. Weve also pointed out that
much of the universe does not repeat itself either. There are the regular
comings and goings of days and nights, the weeks, the months, the seasons,
the years. But each moment is unique. Each moment has never happened
before, and the full awareness of this points directly at the amount of the
future that cannot be known beforehand. This is due to Gods creativity.
(The soul of time and space)
In a very fundamental way, God does not have to repeat himself. Weve
likened Him to a fountain right out in the middle of the air, the whole
universe blossoming continuously into now so that, perhaps, you might think
of it as only roughly half continuing. The other half is this new
permutation. Something is growing here, something is expanding. You can
only imagine and feel for a few moments: something expanding forever,
everywhere: the soul of time and space.
So yes, by all means do rest. Rest--assured within yourself: this is your
home, and it was deliberately created this way. This is the adventure.
This is the forever newness calling to you: Wont you come out and play?
(The freedom of denial VS the particularity within eternity)
You are even so free you can deny this, for awhile. This is part of your
freedom within yourself. Your own creativity of imagination is so great,
you can create your own world that, for awhile at least, can somewhat ignore
the whole reality about you. But youve all experienced, if only by
stubbing your toe in the middle of the night, your body is in reality. It
obeys very strict physical and biochemical laws, and perhaps now youve
gained wisdom enough to see that this is not a curse, but a blessing. Even
what you call old age and death, and other inevitable events, are final,
unavoidable, irrevocable stamps of reality that give meaning to time. They
give particularity to eternity. Thus each moment can be unique. This is
the growing soul of The Supreme Being, just as is yours.
The history of the universe: think about it. Enjoy the notion for a while.
For this discovery is also something that awaits you. But am I being too
much of a tease here?--(group laughs)--promising you the fulfillment of your
curiosity as to what exactly did happen at some point back in time?
(Your ancient spiritual family)
The spiritual family you are surrounded with, My children, is ancient beyond
your imagination. Some day when you make friends with these neigh eternal
beings--from your perspective--this too will be part of some now as yet
unimaginable appreciation: you will slowly be able to perceive their souls.
Just imagine the soul of a Melchizedek, dating from the early days of our
Local Universe, some several hundred billion years ago. This is all real.
It all exists right now. This is one meaning of space, that dimension of
reality that can hold all these billions and billions of personal beings,
all living their lives right along with you, each and every moment of time.
So We invite you to relax in your busy days, be still, and let your
attention just go everywhere outward. (pause) This is that marvelous
contact, marvelous because it is both still and alive. We are all living in
the living body of God. You are surrounded, not only by His presence in the
presence of the Supreme Being, and Michael and I, but also in that
unfathomable presence We call the Unqualified Absolute--what you as a human
being experience most directly as pure potential, possibility. For as much
as has gone on before you, My children, the whole universe is always, only
just beginning. This is the unfathomable mystery within pure potential: no
limits whatsoever.
Sometimes you try to get a grip on this reality and think of it somewhat
correctly as chance, and We appreciate that you do try to respect this
aspect of reality. You do acknowledge the limits of your own ability to
project into the future, to know what is going to happen. Yet We assure you
that from the standpoint of the Supreme Being, there is no chance. Gods
ultimate reality is neither capricious nor whimsical. His meaning, His
relationships are absolute. Theyre just very large.
(I challenge your mind)
I challenge your mind with all these concepts in order to keep returning to
the singular fact: this is your home. Reality was deliberately created this
way, and it was created this way through the purest love. So when you
think, sometimes with fear, about those impenetrable mysteries such as
death, you can rest. Rest assured that what God creates, He creates from
infinite love and infinite wisdom. So feel at home. Take time out in your
busy days to rest--ever so consciously and knowingly, but still: rest. Feel
My love and Michaels peace. Whenever you do come to us, My children,
please believe Me, you will have already earned it.
If you have any questions or comments this evening, our home also contains
this possibility too.
Student: Mother, if its appropriate, would You explain more about the
order of beings called Sordoms who remove negative energy from our bodies;
and how do we avail ourselves of this service?
NEBADONIA: Yes, C, Im not certain I can agree with your understanding of
what negative energy is, that needs to be removed from your body. Would you
explain your concept of this a little more thoroughly?
Student: Yes. I understood it to be negative energy left over from the
Adamic Default and from the Lucifer Rebellion, but I have no specifics on
it. I read it in one of the transcripts that came from the Minnesota team.
(Negative energy: the Lucifer Rebellion)
NEBADONIA: Yes, I see. These are not the terms I generally use. I like to
keep distinct the normal usage of the word energy as pertaining to the
impersonal manifestations of physical reality. Whereas what you are
suffering because of the Lucifer Rebellion, and Calagastias joining it, is
highly personal. It is a continuing culture based upon those erroneous
concepts that Lucifer and his followers held as to the nature of Michael,
and Myself, and the Universal Father.
If you have read His manifesto (Ed: Urantia bookpaper 53) you know He
professed a number of highly corrosive notions which showed not only a
supreme disrespect, but an appalling ignorance of true spiritual realities.
But He was only able to ignore these because of an exaltation of himself, a
kind of willful blindness that came about from self-exaggerationthe very
freedom I mentioned earlier. What He expressed as declarations of freedom
were actually license, a denial and ignoring of profound realities simply
because they were so much greater than He. He lacked humility in the sense
We have been teaching--humility being the perception of something so much
more enormous than oneself.
On Urantia this gave rise to a very distinct culture that, as you know, has
lasted for many hundreds of thousands of years. And it is the persistence
of this culture, which is still so prevalent on your world today, and not
some impersonal energy within your body, My son. It is more fundamentally
psychological and physical/behavioral: ways of thinking and acting; ways of
perceiving with their attendant blindness, misperceptions, denials, and
spiritual numbness. There are still persons deliberately training
youngsters in the exaltation of ego and ones own sense of oneself, so that
truly obscene acts of cruelty and violence cannot only be justified, but
celebrated, even entertaining.
(The true spiritual wealth of your soul)
Living within this kind of culture can make you ill because it is all
essentially a fraud, perpetrated on the innocent and the gullible. Its a
supreme exercise in cynicism. The most direct way out of this maze is by
getting and staying in touch with your own personal life and the true
spiritual wealth of your soul. And this is most directly done with the
practice of stillness We encourage you to cultivate.
Do you remember I once recommended that to get some sense of proportion
between what you call the positive and the negative in life, you sometimes
have to escape from the competitive, entertainment aspect of the news and
pop-culture media--a kind of horror-mongering one-ups-manship, and regain a
deep sense of your own positive existence? Do you remember that, My son?
Student: Yes, Mother, I do.
(Renewing oneself: His power and self-power)
NEBADONIA: You can think of some negative influence on your life as a
negative energy, if you wish. But keep in mind it is highly personal;
personal in its origin with personal beings and, while true enough this
culture persists in artifacts--in writings, in buildings, in monuments, it
is mainly carried by living people and passed on from generation to
generation. This will go on until there comes a time when one generation
gains the supreme courage to absorb whatever negative karma impacts it, lets
it die with them, and does not pass it on. But to do this you must
constantly renew yourself, and this you can do with the help We have
offered, Michael and I, and the presence of God within you. Does this
answer your question, My son?
Student: It does make it a lot clearer--where the energy comes from and how
it is appearing in my life. I like the idea of renewing myself, constantly,
through You and Michael and the Heavenly Father. Thank You, Mother.
NEBADONIA: You are welcome, My son. Let Me note for the readers, that in
your lively discussion earlier this evening, you were all reaching for a
feeling and an experience of what you yourselves are--the fundamental
reality We call your personality. While this is not your ego, and can never
be an object of direct perception, it is intrinsically minded and has its
own spiritual nature. So this too you all have--you all are. You are a
creation of God with the power of free will. Granted, it takes a lifetime
learning how to use it, but you can exercise it, you can choose to do your
best to perceive and follow Gods will, trusting that His fountain of
creativity is what renews you.
In addition--now dont let this go to your head, so to speak--(group
laughs)--this is not to feed your ego; but you yourself also have power.
This is what free will is. We call you a creature of will dignity. You
manifest this dignity by choosing, as highly consciously as you can. So
never lose sight of this too, My son. This is how you renew yourself. And
be in My love.
Student: Thanks again, Mother.
Student: Mother, would You be so kind as to indicate what the upshot of
todays lesson was for us, maybe in its practical implication of what You
were saying about time and history and free will, and all these great
things? It would be helpful to perhaps get a restatement in a succinct way.
(Mother Spirit: recapitulated)
NEBADONIA: Yes, B, it has been the object of many of Our lessons simply to
introduce you to yourself. Here Michael and I have decided to articulate
dimensions of human reality. Some of these you already know and are quite
familiar with, and you can use the lesson as a kind of checklist. Others
may be quite new to you, you have to read and re-read over and over, and
really stretch your imagination, to get some feeling of the reality that Our
words can only point toward. (Yes)
This is, in part, to assuage your fear of the unknown, of inklings you get
from time to time of being lost in a maelstrom of space and time beyond
comprehension or grasping. (Right) And so We reassure you this is simply
your home, not some hallucination or kind of boogey-man chasing you in your
moments of depression or exhaustion, (Yep) but real perceptions of a reality
that is quite unbounded. (Yes) And as I mentioned to D one time, there is
much We can say knowing it is being recorded and will be capable of being
read and studied to your hearts content later. So I am aware that I do
stretch your attention at times. I can only hope you enjoy the stretch.
In expressing some of these truths, I anticipate some of the erroneous
concepts of reality they seem to contradict, and also I try to put them in a
new and fresh way for your comprehension, rather than just reshuffling the
old deck of previous concepts. (Yeah) If I do so at some length it is only
to afford you some longer time in My mind. (students laugh) So bear with Me,
My son, We do appreciate the human quality of patience, and hope We are not
requiring too much long-suffering. (students laugh)
Student: I think You are the one thats long-suffering.
NEBADONIA: Well, as Michael and I have said before, We are quite fortunate
in not needing such human virtues. (students laugh) Were there any other
questions, My son?
Student: Yeah, I think so. What rises to the surface is all my concern
about the moves that are being made now on the planet by what would appear
to be the last breath or the last stand of the Luciferic forces, and I
wonder what
You mentioned that there is a culture of the Luciferic forces
thats survived for hundreds of thousands of years, and Im always curious,
after studying The Urantia book and listening to transmissions, as to
whether there is a way to point to any given institution or any system of
some grouping of men, or some government or some identifiable entity, some
secret society, which one could look at, to study to see this force as it
now exists on the planet? Or is it really just an attitude that you can
find anywhere, You know, in any place, in any government, in any family, in
any institution that one could call the Luciferic culture?
Could You recall if thats what is meant by the Luciferic culture--as a very
loose application of the term culture? So I wonder if You could help
clarify as to, You know, how one could identify that culture if it survives
today?
(The Lucifer Rebellions persisting culture)
NEBADONIA: I cant answer exactly in the categories as you delineated
them, but its mostly an attitude--in The Urantia book sense--the
willingness and the ability to relate to reality. And here Ill emphasize
the individuals ability or inability to relate to full spiritual reality.
This is very much an individual thing that permeates all the different races
and nation states of the world. You can very easily get a grasp of it if
you think of human beings along a dimension from the most spiritual, in the
sense of truly serving their fellow human beings, to the other extreme of
those who are most viscously and cynically depriving their fellows of
happiness and life.
So within every nation state, within every race of peoples, there are those
organizations of individuals gathered together to truly spiritually serve
others, and there are other organizations which have as their reason for
being the exploitation of their fellows. (Yes) And this culture, this
learned behavior, exists to some degree in almost everyone, excepting only
someone you might think of as a pure saint, an individual who gives their
total life to others. (Yes)
On the other extreme are those who are turning out what you call acts of
terrorism, and not only physical violence, but those who perpetrate economic
slavery, or different kinds of racial or cultural warfare. (Yes) When you
think of human governments, and you can see the individuals within, they
cover this whole spectrum, plus all varieties of those who may be quite
naively doing great damage unintentionally, and even those who may be
bestowing some benefits quite unknowingly. Theres certainly no lack of
irony in human behavior.
I would just caution against any kind of simplistic attempt to assign this
or associate it in a generalized way. You have Our cautions about the
limits of generalizations. (Yes) In evaluating individuals or
organizations, My son, simply look for the effect. (Yes) A tree is known by
the fruit it bears: you have many sayings that point this way. (Yes) But
just generally speaking: there is no whole race or group of people either
purely evil or purely enlightened. Does that help you get some grasp of the
situation?
Student: Immensely, thank You so much.
NEBADONIA: This is just one more instance, My son, in which, when you think
deeply about what you are confronting, you are immediately face to face with
the limits of your own ability to comprehend so many thousands, even
millions of unique individuals out there. (Yes) This is very humbling. But
dont let it stifle your desire to understand. (Yes) Keep reaching, keep
trying to be as open as you can. This way you keep growing. Were there any
other questions?
Student: That will do it for the moment. Thank You so much.
NEBADONIA: You are quite welcome. Be in My love. (Yes)
Student: Yes, Mother, there is so much churning on inside of me right now.
One of the things I thought about in the discussion with B was, what we see
in the world today is, in a sense, a perversion of Gods reality, to allow
ones agenda, ones ego to prevail. But there are, such as You say, these
millions of unique individuals in this world, and no matter how sinister
they are, and as You and Michael have pointed out, they are infinite
potential as well; and that there is a bond within all of us, and that is
Gods reality, Gods truth, Gods love. Thats how I kind-of grapple with
what I read and hear, the terror and the genocide and the evil, is to know
that beneath all that, and beyond all that, is Gods intention for each and
every one of us; that these constructs that we are experiencing are parts of
the perversion of His wholeness and His love and His will.
My thoughts on driving here tonight, and You alluded to it as well, was the
idea of freedom, and what that means to me, and all of us. As You
mentioned, we can even be free within the confines of our own
limitations--of what we have come to understand. So Im kind-of grappling
with what that means for me in the choices I make, and sometimes I feel, I
keep on thinking of this, this game show that was on: Lets Make A Deal,
where you have three choices. Now if I choose, one choice has everything I
could dream of; one where its not helpful at all; and theres one thats
just complacency. So Im afraid sometimes of making a wrong choice, not
congruent with my best interests at handmy soul. Im facing that dilemma
right now. Also Im afraid of conning myself into believing that something
is going to turn out a certain way; my idealism gets in the way of my
realism, even to the point of pain. Its like the Zen koan I mentioned
before, about the monk who keeps picking up a scorpion in the hope it will
someday stop stinging him. And You mentioned: let a scorpion be a scorpion.
Yet I keep getting caught up on the same dilemma. I hope Im making sense
out of all this.
NEBADONIA: Well D, it certainly makes sense to Me
Student: May I say something? (Certainly
) Its what You said to me two
weeks ago, about the wisdom of
how I said I was always getting an
understanding after the fact, but I needed to be wise as Im going through
what Im going through. Thats what I mean about conning myself. I dont
what to con myself into thinking a certain thing will happen. Because I
know I have this pattern of holding onto things beyond their value.
(The nature of decision: hindsight and foresight)
NEBADONIA: This is very understandable to Me for you are expressing the
living nature of decision, and how being open requires all these
considerations. But what I was trying to convey before is: how does one
gain foresight from clearly understanding hindsight? Hindsight is just
understanding what youve experienced so far, and foresight means being able
to project this into the future so you do notas you sayfool yourself.
This is most easily understood in terms of bad habits, such as drug
additions, where you know from long experience there is a certain pleasure
associated with this behavior, but afterwards the price to be paid seems to
be overwhelmingly negative compared to the good derived.
This could be an addiction to love--or what you mistake for love, as well as
any chemical. It could be for power; all the things that have enormous
promise before the fact, then appear afterward as if youve allowed yourself
to be fooled one more time. You have the feeling you should have known
better.
(The need for feedback)
So tonight I want you to look at this. There are some things you cannot
know before you try them. So you have to be very careful after the fact,
when this particular experiment did not go too well at all, be very exact
here as to whether you could have known this before, or not. Then with this
in hand, this knowledge, you can more thoroughly assess what you call
hanging on. This is peculiar because sometimes you feel you are being
overly positive in terms of generosity, or giving folks a second, and third,
and forth, and fifth chance when they dont appear to be responding. This
is that hard reality to acceptthe concept of tough love where you
deliberately hold individuals accountable to what they themselves have
promised younot out of vindictiveness, but because you realize they need
the feedback. They need to experience the consequences of their choices,
and you only encourage their immaturity by acting as too much a cushion
between them and reality.
But you express well the living moment-to-moment quality of these decisions.
The only way out is the slow growth of wisdom and self-knowledge. This is
the definition of not fooling yourself. Does this make sense?
Student: (laughing) Very much so. I do have this problem of giving folks
fourth, fifth, sixth chances, in spite of my own pain and anguish about it
all. I seem to be one of those grin and bear it types, and chalk it up to
experience. I try to learn from these things, and experience the presence
of God at the same time. Michael asked last week: where is the freedom in
all this? I should question: where is my freedom? There are numerous
possibilities confronting me, of any which way I could go. I dont want to
limit myself, or another persons freedom.
NEBADONIA: My son, theres no shortcut through this thicket. (Yeah) This
is the living nature of decisions, and being aware of how much you yourself
are choosing your own future. Some have very wisely called this the fear of
freedom, which has so often lead great numbers of people to choose
totalitarian, rather paternalistic social and governmental systemsthe root
of fascism, if you will.
Student: Where does this idea I have in mind come from, that I need to
suffer this pain or this sufferingthis is what God wants me to do: that God
wants me to be in this relationship, or God kind-of tests me, tests my
mettle? I mean why do I have these thoughts? Why do I give people four or
five or six chances?
NEBADONIA: I would say it is even more fundamental than that. Why is it
abrading you that you do so? (Say that again?) Why does it abrade you, why
does it cause you pain to do so? This is just the mechanism by which you
are evaluating what you are doing. When I say there are no shortcuts
through this thicket; another way of saying this is: this is going into the
battle, going into the fray of choosing, thats unavoidable if you wish to
be free, and know yourself. This is all highly commendable, except you need
to take a break from it from time to time. You cant let it get too
relentless, or you are just adding one more self-abrading loop. (YesI feel
that s been going on) So We say: take a break! It will come around
again
(I know, I know
) but you need to rest from time to time. Rest
deeply. Let it all go. Be satisfied. This is loving yourself. This is
supporting yourself. Then go into it again, and try to understand yourself
as best you can, and evaluate things. So you will know moments when
everything is wide open, and you cannot know yet, you do not yet have this
evaluation. But then you evaluate and decide, say: OKthis person has to
go, in my life. You make that decision, and act upon it. Then you stay
open to the consequences. Take a break and catch up to yourself: re-unify.
Student: I do understand the responsibility is up to me, how I handle it.
Its me no matter what environment or situation; its always me, and I cant
run away from that. But its daunting when You and Michael point out some
decisions are irrevocable, like the past is the past and can never be
changed. So thats a lot of responsibility resting on the understanding of
the choices involved.
NEBADONIA: Never forget, My son, the root meaning of responsibility is the
ability to respond. It is a real ability. (long pause)
(The value of flexibility)
One final thing is a way of visualizing your dilemma. See yourself getting
more and more flexibility in the intensity of your questioning. In other
words, rather than having a kind of steady, monotonous and enervating go at
it, stretch out to the extremes by taking a break of no questioning at all;
then other times even intensify this penetrating evaluation. This is a
further ability to gain as part of a growing maturity: flexibility. For it
means at one and the same time becoming more decisive, and yet ever more
sensitive to yourself and others. Its a goal, an ideal to think about.
Student: Thank You very much.
NEBADONIA: You are welcome. Again, I think it will help you to reread
this. (Yes, it willYes, it will. [laughingheavy sigh] I just desire to
live in truth
) Well, rest assured that while the desire does not guarantee
the result, there is no result without that desire.
I feel it has been a wonderful evening
(group: Yes, Yes) Weve once again
thrown a big loop around human reality and tried to make more complete your
philosophy of life. This is another way of loving life. Do you remember
Welmeks lessons years and years ago, of learning, and loving, and life, and
all the combinations: learning to love; loving to learn; learning to live;
living to learn; loving to live; living to love? This is the spiritual
value of your human philosophy and, as your Urantia book tells you, one of
the first things you will be taught over on the other side are what are
called Morontia Mota, or spiritual laws, that begin right where the highest
human philosophy leaves off. This is how you know, My children, that this
philosophizing is worth it; when it actually does something! It is the
moment to moment grasp that, however you realize with your growing wisdom
you have to let go again the next moment to reach for more, still these are
little, temporal way-stations of having something you will enjoy throughout
eternitythese unique realizations in time without which eternity would be a
monotonous hell of sameness. We can thank God it is not. Go in My love,
and allow yourselves to rest. Good evening.
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