[tmtranscripts] Nebadonia 1.8.07

[JERRY LANE]

Nebadonia—January 8, 2007

Marin TM Group—Mill Valley, California—U.S.A.

NEBADONIA—T/R-JL

(Spirited relationships)
(Self-confidence and –forgetfulness)
(Your own unfathomable nature)
(Actual and potential)
(Another hallmark of maturity)

Dear Mother Spirit and Michael,    We welcome you once again to come join us 
on this early January evening.  We look forward to the challenges of a new 
year with greater assurance because we know you will be beside us, and with 
us.  We ask your help in finding the courage to, with open hearts and open 
minds, reach for and embrace the full human experience of this ever new 
world and universe our Father sets before us.  Amen.

NEBADONIA:  Good evening my children, this is your spirit mother, 
Nebadonia—daughter of the Infinite Spirit, the Cosmic Mind of all creation.  
I feel your warm hearts living within me.  I feel your curious and wondering 
minds opening in the wonderful trust we’ve established between us.  I can 
feel your laughing, joyful spirits playfully teasing me to come join you 
for, after all, you are truly my children, as well as Michael’s, and you do 
have my nature too—if you will let yourselves.

(Spirited relationships)

Recently at a meeting of T/R’s and fellow students, during the holidays, 
Michael gave a talk on a very basic level of human relationships, and how, 
if both partners involved are tuned in to their own, and another’s spirits 
and souls, the relationship itself—the conversations, the exchanges of 
company—this too can take on the lively and creative qualities of spirit and 
become very exciting and spontaneous just of its own nature.  It’s as if, 
when you are in a real spiritual contact with another, a third entity comes 
into existence.  Those of you who have fallen in love have known a 
particular species of this.  You are usually so tender and careful with 
regard to this new-found love, for you correctly intuit how fragile and 
delicate it is.

Michael has compared this spontaneity that can arise between folks as a kind 
of flower that blossoms in its own space and time.  It has a very definite 
beginning, and a life of its own, then a fading away in a warm glow as you 
part, because it is a creature of time—this wonderful rapport you can know.  
It is something you can feel and even bravely acknowledge between the two of 
you, sometimes fearful that your very acknowledging of it might harm it or 
chase it away.  But there can be a conscious, respectful letting it be.  For 
again you can intuit that nothing would destroy it so quickly as for either 
partner to grab it and try to take control.

I’m sure you’ve all known very precious moments like this, but I wonder if 
you’ve considered exactly how they come about?  For if this is something 
that is not directly created by any one member, how does it happen?  From 
our point of view this is the blossoming of a spiritual potential that is 
always there between two or more.  It springs from the spiritual nature that 
you share with each other.  The tricky part is that each of you has a very 
unique personality, and so your spiritual manifestation—as with all 
spirits—is highly personal.  It is yours alone.  It springs from your very 
nature.  We’ve had our lessons on how to recognize and credit this dimension 
of your human being, and how to see it, and welcome it, and encourage its 
coming forth in others.  This is the genesis of this profoundly delightful 
conjoined spirit that will just naturally come into existence and be so 
lively and exciting and fulfilling if you can find a way to let it be.  It 
comes as a supreme reward for courage—the faint-hearted will never know it-- 
and follows—as in our last lesson—with feeling your moment-to-moment 
completeness, your actuality, even as you strive for perfection.  Feel your 
inner connection with Michael and myself, and with your own Father Fragment 
connection with God.

With this fullness within you, you can have the further courage to forget 
yourself, to let yourself be and trust in your own spontaneous nature.  You 
can not only hear without straining to listen, you can actually see and take 
someone in without the necessity to aggressively search them.  Just open 
yourself and trust in your own fearless reactions, trust in your own 
self-confidence that however challenging what they say or how they appear 
might be, you can encompass it, hear and see deeply.  Let go of yourself so 
you can do this.  Trust that in a few moments, or minutes, your own 
creativity, your own spontaneity will allow you to respond adequately.  You 
needn’t cling so desperately, and fill your mind with what you are going to 
say next, leaving no room for them.  For in those moments when you are so 
tightly clinging to your own thoughts and getting lost in an anxious need to 
express yourself, you are not really hearing or seeing.  Obviously if both 
partners are doing this, there is no real communication.  So little is being 
exchanged.  There is no chance at all for the combined or co-mingled spirit 
to come into being.

(Self-confidence and –forgetfulness)

So with this self-confidence, with this awareness of your own spirit and 
your partner’s, it is like passing a ball back and forth so quickly, and 
lively, and spontaneously, it is in the air most of the time.  Both partners 
are resisting the temptation to grab it and run with it—especially as each 
ones enthusiasm and excitement begins to flower as well.  This is not easy; 
it is an ideal: but it is also  a real, learned ability.  This is what all 
the great masters have learned to do, and it is this creative, spontaneous 
expression that so thoroughly enthralls and convinces those they meet that 
they are men and women of spirit: they are truly, powerfully humble servants 
of the Father.  They are continuously self-forgetting by taking a genuine 
interest in those they meet.  They are no longer meeting stereotypes; they 
are meeting individuals.  And so you can recognize you are an individual to 
them.  And this is quite God-like.

This is how you let them happen--these precious, very unforgettable moments 
that are your true soul’s wealth.  You have that wonderful statement in your 
Urantia book that so many of the impersonal things of your life—however 
delightful your toys, your interest in pure stuff is—they are for the most 
part means to an end.  But all personal relationships, both now in your 
human life and in all your eternity to come, these personal relationships 
are an end in themselves, and what endures.  This is what you most truly 
know, and how you are most truly known.

So these moments when you achieve this wonderful, spontaneous relationship 
with another, when the creative nature of spirit comes blossoming forth, 
this is what we welcome you to fill your souls with.  These moments are what 
you will remember and cherish forever.  This is the supreme lesson you can 
learn.  When it begins to happen, my children, you will have earned it.  And 
so we tease and invite you to experience this wonder.  Wonder how it 
happens.  Try your hand at bringing it about with all your friends, all your 
acquaintances.  This is your treasure.  This is what you can know with 
Michael and me, and your Father Fragment in your moments of stillness.  This 
is life welling up within you.  This is that fountain Michael speaks of.  
This is your Father’s creativity as every instant the universe is constantly 
bursting out of nowhere into existence, ever new, ever replenished.  This is 
your whole spiritual family, my children, calling to you.  Let go and come 
play with us.  You stop clinging to yourself and look!—you still are.  And 
so you will always be.  This is the door you open onto life eternal.  You 
can have a taste of it now.

If you have any questions or comments this evening, let’s toss that ball 
back and forth.

Student:  Yes, Mother, I remember what Michael said in our last meeting 
about when one is totally alone and is experiencing that aloneness, face to 
face with their own uniqueness in this whole universe.  The question that’s 
been going through my mind these past couple of weeks from reading a book on 
the law of attraction, seems to resonate with what I’ve been feeling—a 
subtle confusion about my life and what it is I want.  The question is: I 
want to know what I want!--(laughs)—my relationships, my destiny.  Otherwise 
it’s all kind-of nebulous, or direction-less; and maybe that’s OK.  Because 
I’ve also come to understand, and allow—just allow, without trying to steer 
myself in any one direction.  In that allowing is the trust in the universal 
wisdom—God’s wisdom, your wisdom; the wisdom that’s in me—my soul.

So that ‘s where I’m at.  And coupled with these thoughts came the idea that 
I’m no longer of this world.  I’m opening up to something greater and more 
vast and expansive.  But I do live on this planet.  So I went through a lot 
of consternation about what it is that I want, because that’s always 
changing; like what you talked about this evening—the spontaneous 
relationships.  I know I want that, and that want has to be congruent with 
the vision and the intention that God has for me.  (heavy sigh)  I’m sure 
you can make sense of what I said.

(Your own unfathomable nature)

NEBADONIA:  Oh yes, my son, very much so.  It makes me smile, as it did 
Michael, because we see you right on the edge of the present moment, leaning 
way out over the precipice of the future, trying to perceive some form out 
there beyond the rather gross repetitions of day after day and so forth.  
We’ve often teased you with the notion of an unfathomable mystery in human 
beings, so let me tell you a little secret here: that this is universal with 
all personal beings, even Michael and myself.  As Michael told you in his 
last lesson, this is how we are most truly made in God’s image.  This is how 
we most profoundly share in his nature.  It may appear to some as a 
meaningless contradiction, or even a paradox, when Michael said that when 
you experience your uniqueness, your aloneness in the universe most 
intensely, and purely, it is not lonely.

God is not lonely to himself.  This is the unfathomable depth of personality 
to itself, you to yourself: which means that as you come towards a decision, 
or even a quest—what do I want?—at the end of all your research, at the end 
of all your discovery, your being open to everything—mental, physical, 
spiritual—impinging upon you, and you are open to your soul—the 
beyond-time-and-space Morontia part of you, you are beginning to experience: 
all of this, you find there is still something more that cannot be captured 
or grasped.  This “something more” will not tell you what to do or want 
because, my son, it is you: it is not other than you.  In your human 
experience of life, at the very bottom of this search for yourself and what 
you want, nothing can tell you.  There is no avoiding a true feeling of 
arbitrariness within which you decide, because it is you.  Nothing is 
telling you which way to go—finally.  As much as you can try to avoid this 
feeling of being arbitrary, for so often circumstances will dictate your 
choices, this just means you haven’t yet gotten all the way to the 
bottomless bottom of yourself—if you take my meaning.  As I once said, 
making a decision to accept all the bad karma that has come your way, and 
forgive as much as you possibly can those persons who originated it; and not 
pass it on: this is an undeniably arbitrary decision on your part.  You 
choose to temper the justice that previous events might call for, with mercy 
and compassion.  There is no avoiding a quantum of arbitrariness because 
this is the hallmark of your free will.

But because of this, my son, you can become paralyzed contemplating the 
mystery, waiting for “it” to move, (Mother Spirit laughs) waiting for it to 
tell you where to go, what to do next.  And so it becomes a question of 
recognition.  Recognize when you are at this point: time to decide.  And 
then step off in a motion, a choice, a decision that will be undeniably you. 
  (Student heaves a sigh)
This, my son, is where many a human being has more or less frozen.

Student:  Yes, but I don’t feel I’m frozen.  I feel like things are moving 
and shifting, because that is my intention—to expand and to embrace life and 
myself to the fullest of what I’ve come to understand.

NEBADONIA (with obvious humor):  Then what is it you still do not know, that 
you want?

Student breaks up laughing:  I know!  It was interesting when I was at this 
retreat several Saturdays ago.  As I was sitting there listening to the 
commentary on what had been read, I came to realize I understood more than I 
give myself credit for.  I do understand; I do know.  And yet…  I must trust 
in this.  (another heavy sigh)

NEBADONIA:  Wisdom does suggest you extend yourself a little, then pause to 
see what that was… (laughing) (Student: Yeah…) and what the reactions are.  
With respect to another person, that is trying to let the spontaneity I was 
talking about come into existence.  You give something or someone a little 
nudge, and then see if it nudges back.  Without that pausing to see if it 
nudges back you would never get outside yourself.

Student:  I do know I do want to share, myself or my gifts, not only with a 
partner but with the world around me.  It’s nothing contrived—I guess that’s 
what you mean—like, being myself.  It’s not manipulated or coerced.  It’s 
truly coming from my God-self, that is, just allowing things to be 
spontaneously expressed and experienced.

Because I mentioned to Michael last time, what good are the fruits of the 
spirit if I’m the only one enjoying them?  I can only eat so much, and the 
rest will rot on the ground, no good for anything.  I know I feel more alive 
when I share, when I’m with others in a compassionate, empathetic way.  So I 
keep getting the message to trust in God’s wisdom…

NEBADONIA:  And you own. (laughing)

Student (joining in):  Yes.

NEBADONIA:  This is why, when so often Michael and I are handed various 
questions with a true humility, we do acknowledge this gift to us, and then 
we try to hand you right back to yourselves.

Student:  Yes—to empower us.  Yes.  When Michael was speaking to me about 
being alone, and how he does have someone else in his life, my first thought 
was: he had Father.  But when I spoke to the group here, they mentioned you. 
  What I focussed on was different than what others focussed on.  My partner 
is God.  I’m not going anywhere with this; I just noticed the difference in 
what I saw and felt in relationship to what others did.

(Actual and potential)

NEBADONIA:  Yes, Michael mentioned a soul-mate who is his own equal, his 
co-partner, as he and I have always known each other.  And we are different 
sorts of beings than you.  You have the mystery of being moment-to-moment 
complete, and yet incomplete insofar as you are—as we see you anyway 
(laughing)—about 99.9999 percent potential, just starting out in eternity.  
So: very imperfect; yet you are!  And this absolute existence you are, 
though, is perceptible, but not yet a possession of yours.  You touch upon 
it, but you will not truly have yourselves for quite a long time, because 
you have an eternity to run.  Yet you always are! (laughing)  We encourage 
you to let go of yourselves to have a wonderful rediscovery.  Even what you 
call natural or physical death, this large event, we assure you, you will 
remember for all eternity: the unforgettable experience of having survived.  
And still you will be just beginning—as are we.

Student:  Hmmm…  This is all great stuff!  My being just soaks all this in.  
Because I do understand.

NEBADONIA:  I’m sure, my son, you can remember times, before you had quite 
such an accumulation of soul, when all of this would have been meaningless 
riddles.  For without that inner substance, however alive and spontaneous 
and ungraspable it is, all we are sharing this moment would be only some 
kind of unfathomable puzzle to those who do not yet feel there is much 
inside.  They are still in an adolescent stage—however old they may 
be—trying desperately to find some substance in life, and running into all 
those paradoxes that the harder they search for it, the more elusive it 
becomes.  It is only by stopping and being still that you can—in a sense—let 
yourself overtake you.

Student: I think of some of the things that people need to look at, is their 
belief systems about what being human is all about.  It should be a positive 
thing, that this universe is for us, and never against us.  This is supposed 
to be a beneficial experience, not what we have made it, what we see around 
us.  I guess that is part of my vision, that through the will of God, we 
uplift peoples’ ideas that life can be positive, and loving, and nurturing, 
and full of joy.

NEBADONIA:  And so it can be.  It is just that every human being starts from 
zero, and only slowly, sometimes very painfully and desperately accumulates 
a soul.  You are truly earning this realm of universe reality.  Being the 
complex kinds of beings you are, not only spiritual and minded, but 
physical, you will always be in touch with this dimension of reality.  A 
million years from now, a billion years, no mater how far you advance in 
spiritual status, you will always be able to contact and perceive and relate 
with this realm as well, because you are earning it.  This is the purpose of 
your existence, your human experience.

Student:  I guess I want to share with people we do have choices.  We do 
have the ability to uplift our consciousness to our source.  So many people 
do not know they do have a choice.

NEBADONIA:  And you can only do this by being the example of it yourself.

Student:  Yes!  That is my intention!  That is what I want! (laughing)  
Well: thank you!

NEBADONIA:  You are very welcome, my son. There is no denying this is what 
is called for—the demonstration of freedom: the demonstration of soul: the 
demonstration of spirit.  We do our best (laughing) to point you in the 
right direction, to tease you and lovingly encourage you to try these 
sometimes rather paradoxical or seemingly self-contradictory lessons.  But 
we notice you are progressing.  You are finding the path, and you are 
finding the path to be delightful, and playful, joyful and sustaining, 
strengthening and generous.

Student:  I’m trying to open up to that—generosity.  Just one personal 
thing, in terms of like soul-mates, and partners, I remember one poet saying 
that everyone is a soul-mate—that’s how this person saw everyone.  It’s like 
what you and Michael have said about seeing everyone as infinite potential, 
and treat them with that respect.  There’s a lady—there’s so many ladies I’d 
like to get to know—but it’s like I do have my vision and ideal.  There was 
this one lady who was so compassionate, and beautiful—within and without—and 
she’s studying to be a nurse…  Unfortunately she has a boyfriend, but, you 
know, there is a connection, and I just have to allow, I guess.  But that’s 
that.

(Another hallmark of maturity)

NEBADONIA:  Another hallmark of maturity is when, truly, friendship and the 
spontaneous sharing I spoke of becomes the most valuable thing.  You realize 
that spirit is the origin, the creative dimension that is capable of giving 
rise to everything you need.

Well, it’s been a full evening, my son.   We’ve had some sparkling moments. 
(both laugh)  Be in my love.  Good evening.


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