[tmtranscripts] Nebadonia 8.13.07

[JERRY LANE]

Nebadonia—August 13, 2007

Marin TM Group—Mill Valley, California—U.S.A.

MICHAEL—T/R—JL

(Having a personal celestial friend)
(Your spirit creativity that makes you human)
(Your crowded consciousness)
(Clearing up your mind)
(The challenges of teaching)
(Handling the irreducible other-ness of others)
(Mystery, uncertainty, and infinity)

Dear Mother Spirit and Michael,    I’m old enough to remember the coming of 
television, and our meetings these Monday evenings remind me of those early 
times when all the neighbors would be invited in to whoever had those first 
few sets receiving sound and sight.  Sitting in front of that glowing tube, 
even with its rather limited programming, we thrilled to bring in the rest 
of the world.  Now you offer us the cosmos.  Perhaps almost in a similar way 
as those mechanical devices spread by pure curiosity, we look forward to the 
time when those who are able to receive and transmit your words become 
evermore universal.  We look forward to that day when this reception is 
available to anybody who wants it.  Meanwhile, dear parents of this vast 
local universe of Nebadon, we do treasure your words however they arrive.  
So we open our hearts and our minds to receive them.  Amen.

NEBADONIA:  Good evening, my dear children, this is your spirit mother 
Nebadonia.  Let me echo your amen to that, for Michael and I also look 
forward to the day when we can talk as directly and succinctly to more and 
more of our human children on Urantia as we are doing with you tonight.  
Indeed this ability to receive us this way does mark a successive stage of 
planetary evolution at its most personal level.  For this is largely a 
matter of a growth of consciousness, that wonderful special kind of spirit 
consciousness that marks the stages of your individual evolution as well.  
For right from birth, Michael and I are already a part of you as your 
spiritual parents--especially my Mind/Spirit Adjutants augmenting your own 
growing mental/physical abilities.

(Having a personal celestial friend)

         We mentioned once before what you might think of as an intermediate 
stage,  when more and more people are open to having a spiritual companion, 
usually a volunteer seraphim or ascendant mortal, coming to Urantia to 
befriend a human being for all the wonder and value you have to offer each 
other.  Through a process of just entering your stillness and addressing 
your celestial friend, you can open your mind and your spirit and begin to 
write these messages from a source outside yourself.  Some of you who are 
already successful at this call it journaling, keeping a journal of your 
conversations with your celestial friend.

Being generally a seraphim, or an ascendant mortal from another, far more 
advanced planet, they’re able to offer you spiritual insights--much as we 
do--from a different point of view much more extensive in experience than 
your own.  But always keep in mind, my dear children, the priceless gift of 
your life, your experience, that you have to offer them.  This you do 
already with the presence of God within you, your Thought Adjuster, your 
Mystery Monitor, who is also providing a spiritual viewpoint, and actual 
thoughts for you to use, as you live your life’s experiences to create your 
mutually held soul.

Although this may seem like some extremely strange activity, perhaps even a 
little scary to some of you, opening your mind to another being aside from 
yourself to enter and literally talk with you through your written word, we 
encourage you to try it.  Forget all your ages-old superstitions of alien 
beings taking over your soul.  Those are only superstitions.  Nothing can 
enter you, my dear children, that is not subject to your own dignity of 
will, your own ability to choose, your own power of accepting 
response-ability for your decisions.  This is that sacrosanct and utter 
inviolable part of you that is yours alone, yours alone to give or refuse.

(Your spirit creativity that makes you human)

Indeed, it is your personality’s spiritual essence, your creativity, that 
allows you to depart from what you might think of, from a human perspective, 
as general reality.  It was necessary even as a very young child for you to 
create a personal reality and a self-awareness that distinguishes you from 
even the highest animals.  Because you are a spiritual being, you have this 
creativity; you are more than just an effect of universal animistic causes.  
Your personality creates an alternative, a co-created personal reality that 
gives you choice such as no animal can conceive or know.  No animal can 
literally initiate preconceived behavior, no matter how subtle and extensive 
their learned responses.  You as a human being can.  So you see the 
double-edged sword here: this very creativity that makes you human cuts both 
ways.

I say necessary because without a personal reality to give you a choice, 
without this relative freedom from strict cause and effect, there would be 
no true decisions to make: no personal alternatives.  Ironically, this 
spiritual ability that makes it possible for you to be independent from 
general reality about you, and have a choice, means you are also capable of 
going against the universal flow of God’s will, even unintentionally.   On 
the most simple level, this is what you call a mistake.  If it is conscious 
and willfully done, this is what you call a sin.  If you deliberately go 
against what are the best, most physically healthy, mentally expanding, and 
spiritually enlightening choices you can make for yourself and others, 
indulged in profoundly, it becomes iniquity.  Supreme/Ultimately, you 
literally have the ability to totally remove yourself from God’s ongoing 
cosmos..

You can, in this way, choose to cease to exist, so inconstant with 
expanding, evolving reality you more or less wink out of existence.  This is 
the limitlessness of your freedom.  But by the same aspect, you can choose 
to discover, to seek out and discover God’s will as it manifests all about 
you, and right within your own soul.  This is Universal Reality.  This is 
what flows directly from the Creator.

Confronting human society, the multiplicity of personal wills and behavior 
and all the results flowing therefrom; there is on the absolute level no 
inconsistency here, even with those who depart so radically, even obscenely, 
from God’s will of love and goodness for all.  On the absolute level it is 
God’s will that every single one of His children has this freedom, has the 
dignity of their own personal will.  Ironically again, the very existence of 
mistakes, errors, sin, even iniquity, is proof of individual will.  As to 
why this is God’s will, we can only say this is His very essence.  The 
nature of Divinity is one of sharing, and so God chooses to share His 
experience of personal, individual will with all his children.  The result 
of all these individual wills, combined with His single one, is living in 
what you see in front of you as you go out into society, as you encounter 
the results of this multiplicity of freedom.

To get to my original point tonight, one major determining factor in all 
this exercise of freewill is that of consciousness.  You’ve asked in our 
lessons here how much free will is there when the individual is not 
consciously exercising this power, has never grown beyond the relative 
enslavement of culture, tradition, upbringing, even the unconscious denial 
of personal mistakes and misunderstandings?  This movement, this evolution, 
this expansion of consciousness is only another name for maturity, both in 
the individual and the world.

There is no abstraction here.  Though the evaluation of a world’s maturity 
is far beyond any single human being’s ability to ascertain, it remains a 
fact this world’s maturity is no other than the sum total of all the real, 
living individuals who comprise it.  So be of good cheer, my dear ones, this 
is that great game you are all involved in.  This is the adventure of 
consciousness.  This is the ability of personality to discern moral levels 
of conduct and choose between them.  It is what makes you--conscious or 
not--co-creators of your own reality.  Consciousness and choice are 
intrinsically tied together, arising, or failing to arise, together.

(Your crowded consciousness)

So fear not if more and more is impinging upon your sometimes seemingly 
crowded consciousness as more and more you become aware of a moral dimension 
in almost everything you do.  This is good.  This is the orientation you 
want.  This is the real spiritual work you need to embrace.  This is the way 
to grow.   This is the ability to cultivate.  This is literally the wealth 
of your soul.  We are right here with you, my children, enjoying all your 
triumphs, feeling all your temporary setbacks; sharing your tears of both 
joy and sadness.  We would have it no other way.  We invite you to join us 
in this embrace as well.  The choice is yours.

Now if you have any questions or comments this evening, you can choose to 
share them with the rest of us.

Student:  Good evening, Mother.  I have no burning questions tonight, just 
the realization as you were speaking, and before also, that I’m unloading my 
life of particles and pieces I’ve filled up my life with, but are no longer 
useful--material things, in addition to old ideas and old prejudices I’ve 
had that are still there.  It is as you and Michael have put it lately: It’s 
quite an adventure, an ongoing process. I find that it seems like there is 
something else always there, ready to be dealt with.  So thank you for all 
your support.

(Clearing up your mind)

NABADONIA:  You are very welcome, my son.  We honor you for the courage it 
takes to feel this increasing sense of morality, the courage to feel the 
necessity to chose, rather than just numbing out in any number of ways.  
Your culture is, in its immaturity, thoroughly ridden-through with offers of 
all kinds of avoidance and denial.  They may be as Michael said last week, 
silly habits for mere distraction, material possessions acquired at a 
younger age for which you now see there is no longer any need.  You have a 
wonderful saying that: The foolish man acquires more and more every day; 
whereas the wise man gets rid of more and more.  Isn’t this just another way 
of clearing up your consciousness, another way of achieving a pureness of 
awareness to enjoy the profound fact of living way above any particular 
thing in your life?  So: carry on, my son, you’re doing fine.

Student:  Thank you, mother.

NEBADONIA:  Rest in my love.

Student:  Yes, mother, I had the experience of participating in a workshop 
called Great Freedom two Wednesdays ago, where, after we had finished, one 
of the teachers came up to me and said he could see me being a teacher 
myself--of what they profess.  It was interesting my response was 
resistance, considering that one of the reasons I participated initially in 
these teachings was to be a teacher, and to travel and do that.  But I felt 
this resistance to being part of an organization for many reasons, one of 
them having been betrayed in the past by other organizations, spiritual and 
religious.  And also the hierarchical structure to consider: there’s a 
leader, and then there’s people below the leader, and people below them…  As 
I went deeper into this, I kind-of browsed around different religious and 
spiritual teachings on the internet, but came across so much that I kind-of, 
I won’t say broke down, but started questioning all of it.

I found I wanted to come from myself, my own energy sources.  I wanted to 
discover my own voice, my own presence of God within me, my own reality of 
God-consciousness.  The Great Freedom teachings did enhance my appreciation 
of pure awareness, of God-consciousness.  Maybe I’m missing something but I 
want the reality to come from within me.  Am I making sense?

NEBADONIA:  Oh!—very much so.

Student (laughing):  What am I grappling with here?  That very next day 
there was a shift within me where I felt more at ease, that I am being 
directed in a way that is beneficial to me, and others around me.

One other thing before you answer: I get tired of getting caught in two 
different worlds, where I have a deep appreciation of God’s will within me, 
but sometimes the old habits or patterns or ways rise up.  I have learned to 
be still when they occur.  I talked with Michael about being impatient—where 
I get caught in those two worlds, where I only desire to be with God’s 
peace.

(The challenges of teaching)

NEBADONIA:  Yes, my son, You’ve had this general desire to be a teacher, yet 
when it’s laid right before you as a real possibility—now, you come face to 
face with the yawning chasm of the future we’ve talked about—the inability 
to know what exactly what is going to happen even in the next few minutes.  
This is exacerbated in an ironic way by your enhanced desire to speak from a 
genuineness of your own soul.  This is the realization you want to share 
that which is unique to you, that which you alone have to offer.  But here 
you are facing the spontaneity required to teach from this living center, 
that, even though it is your own self, my son, you cannot know entirely 
beforehand.  Preparing for teaching is one thing; teaching is another.  Part 
of the glory of the creative, spontaneous, spiritual part of you is that it 
cannot be anticipated.  To teach the way you want to teach, you have to 
gather the nerve to just step off, and be—unavoidably—who you are, in front 
of your students.  This requires a certain courage in being naked right to 
your soul.  But is this not indeed what all the great teachers have been 
able to do?

So this reluctance you feel is a very valid one.  It’s a mental/spiritual 
warning you are getting out there on the edge of what you know, what you can 
anticipate, what you possess to teach.  Yet you also know too the 
desirability of stretching, carefully, out into this realm of service.  The 
reluctance says, here is the beginning of that nakedness, letting your true 
self out to take on the responsibility of what you are offering others as 
the most valuable part of your experience.  For you are correct, my son: 
this is what you have to teach: this is what makes a great teacher.

So it all makes a lot of sense.  It is all very lucid in its own way.  The 
reluctance cautions the courage and decisiveness needed to step off—live.  
Does this all make sense to you?

Student:  Yes, it does.  I also notice a fear that, if I decide to 
participate in their teachings, obviously this requires a commitment on my 
part, and I’ll need to change.  I do know I cannot continue as I am, but…   
So…

NEBADONIA:  But you can continue as you are.  A great number of people do 
stall on this very point.  That is their right and limitation.  That is the 
fear of being naked down to your soul—the most valuable thing you have to 
offer another.

Part of the reward in being a teacher is the moment to moment discovery of 
who you are.  The situation calls for it; and it becomes its own reward.  
You have to keep in mind too the rewards of being a teacher.

Student:  I guess part of my stalling is my own questioning about, is this 
for me?  I’ve read so many other things that more completely capture what it 
is I want to teach.  I know you won’t answer this, but should I go into 
being a teacher in this particular group?  Or do I need to go into 
stillness?  Because I can’t stall any longer.  It feels like slow death.

NEBADONIA:  Well, that’s a true enough perception.  (much laughter)  Now you 
are facing that part of your teaching you can know beforehand.  This is 
making up your mind.  This is the hard work of being comprehensive within 
yourself, and discovering what you do believe.  It is wise to organize this 
before you step off.

The stepping off and actually teaching will put you into another dimension 
of a living presentation.  So of course you have to know what you want to 
teach.  The more comprehensive you are at one within yourself as to what you 
believe to be true, and worthy of being taught: all this is a necessary 
prerequisite.  This can lead you to the right situation, the right group of 
people; or you can create you own school.

Student:  Well, thank you.

NEBADONIA:  You are welcome.  There is much to consider, but as Michael said 
last week, the impatience you feel is a duality is being caught between 
desires and not knowing how to fulfill them, but may be necessary as a form 
of self-motivation to take that next step into the unknowable.  So keep 
feeling deep within you, you are in my love.  (there followed a very long 
pause, then, addressing a newcomer)

My daughter, is there anything you wish to share with us tonight?

Student:  I found this very helpful.  It follows along with some experiences 
I’ve been having.  A dilemma I often come up against is when I find myself 
very acutely aware of the moral nuances in my situation, and the choices I 
need to make, along with a great desire to be personally present with 
another: to discover the lay of the land, so to speak--the moral questions 
before me.

I can get quite excited about that, and then when I meet resistance from 
someone, I always end up wanting to run and hide.  I feel hurt by it.  I 
really would like to find a different way to handle these situations so I 
can make some measure of progress in getting closer to another person.  So I 
was wondering if you could help me find another way of looking at this?

(Handling the irreducible other-ness of others)

NEBADONIA:  Yes.  First, I think it will help to read what Michael offered 
as his lesson last week about what you humans (Mother Spirit chuckled) call 
the nitty-gritty of life.  There is a kind of irreducible gritty-ness that 
is mentally and spiritually indigestible; just something there to be 
accepted.  I can offer the spiritual insight that this is what makes each 
human encounter and situation unique—unique to you, unique to them, unique 
in time.  A large part of that resistance you feel is actually your own 
ability to distinguish their personality and character—what makes them a 
unique person independent of your own projections, and anticipations, and 
desires—the excitement you spoke of.  You are correct: this is what you have 
to deal with.  They are more than just who you want them to be.

I think you can see and accept the necessity for this, the value of this.  
You would be woefully lost without this perception.  Think of all those 
individuals who cannot distinguish between their own projections of who 
people are, and the people themselves.  By accepting this perception, of 
what you call resistance, it opens the door to discovering this same quality 
in yourself—of who you really are in their presence.  You are probably 
noticing you are one person when you are by yourself, and yet another with 
other people.  But my daughter, this is universal, albeit a reality so many 
people avoid, or feel guilty or helpless about.  On the contrary, it can be 
a wonderful fact of discovering another aspect, another dimension of 
yourself in the face of this irreducible, nitty-gritty resistance of another 
personality to be manipulated or taken for granted.

Be aware of whatever reluctance there is within yourself to accept this, to 
wish it were otherwise, to want some power of being able to control others, 
or have them to be more what you want, for that leads to the realm of self 
delusion.  Rather, welcome, embrace your feeling of who others are, and be 
thankful you have it.  It is a way of discovering and accepting the full 
reality of who you can be with them.

Thank about this and entertain the possibility, my dear one.  It is not 
something you can swallow whole in one gulp.  See if you can get a feeling 
of your own ability to choose whether to accept this vision, or not.  
Michael and I never would have the slightest desire to force anything upon 
you.  We can only offer these insights as to what constitutes human reality. 
  Does this at least seem to help?

Student:  Yeah, it helps me to invite the other person to be more there as 
to who they really are.  I’ll try to experience them without the 
window-dressing, or what I put on them.  I like the idea of seeing their 
irreducible-ness, that they’re really there.

NEBADONIA:  It comes as a great shock to a lot of folks—consciously, what 
they thought they knew all along, but were missing, or maybe even fearful 
of: that other people are what we’ve been calling little walking infinities. 
  There is something there beyond what you can ever know.  There is a true 
mystery in a person’s uniqueness and individuality beyond the 
generality—human being; as there is in you to yourself.  (Yes)  When you 
look deeply into another person’s eyes, it can come as a shock that there is 
no bottom, no final resolution there, for the fact you are both alive and 
changing, reacting.  You just have to get used to it, welcome it, finally 
enjoy and thrive upon it.  This is what you pointed at as your excitement 
before the event, that seems to get squashed in the event.  Just keep 
stretching.  Accept these situations are good for you.  Develop a kind of 
ironic sense of humor with respect to our Father’s creating people as they 
are, and gain some faith in His absolute wisdom in doing so.

Student:  OK.  Thank you.

NEBADONIA: You are very welcome, my daughter.  I salute your courage in 
expressing this, opening yourself to what is at times the hard part of 
reality.  Embrace it.  It is designed for your growth.  Never forget you are 
in my love.  I’m here to augment parts of your own being with understanding, 
courage, council--or gregariousness, of worship/thankfulness, and wisdom.  
So rest in my love.  (a long pause)

(Mystery, uncertainty, and infinity)

And so we feel another facet of being together, of this kind of stillness we 
can share.  (another long pause)  It is indeed different from what you know 
when you are alone with yourself, and your stillness can seem very busy.  
But continue to persist.  Just breathe deeply and feel your living body 
supporting you, keeping you in touch with the whole world, not only all the 
impersonal stuff and energy of it, but also all the other people as well.  
This is why we’ve given our lessons on mystery, and uncertainty, and 
infinity, to reassure you your perceptions of these are real.  There is 
something to life that cannot be held fast, and fixed, no more than you can 
capture a river in a cup.  You literally are the river, as well as being in 
it.  Enjoy it well.  Take it with a good dose of my love.  Good evening.

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