Ham on willingness to sacrifice

[David G. Schlundt, Ph.D.]

06/08/97

Ham: Greetings, children, I am Ham and I thank you all for having come
here this evening to have our discussion.  Tonight, the lesson is
about willingness to sacrifice.  People, that is human beings, all
have to learn to sacrifice.  This is all part of your training and is
integral to your spiritual development.  

Most humans have little understanding of what the attitude of
sacrifice is.  The attitude of sacrifice involves being willing to
throw down your nets and to take up other burdens when the time is
right.  Being willing to sacrifice involves letting go of
relationships or a relationship that is difficult even heart-rending
to do.  

Most of you have something that is difficult to release, that you feel
tied to, that would hurt you to let go.  But, there must come a time
for the realization of upward and onward movement, that you need to
move past this beggar at your sleeve and focus ahead not behind.

The Father in his infinite wisdom requires these kinds of sacrifices
in your lives time and time again.  He requires that you gradually
cling only to him for guidance, for comfort, and for support and this
requirement means that those heart-tugging ties that pull you in other
directions be severed.  

Sometimes it's an obsession with someone or something who or that
cannot give you what you are seeking there.  Sometimes it's an
unforgiven pain that is always in the back of the mind coloring the
present with bitterness and anxiety. Sometimes, it's the immature
wishing for something that can never be, the attempt to see yourself
as you wish you were instead of how and who you are.  

It is difficult to sacrifice something that is so much a part of you,
a part of your reality, how you see yourself and the world.  But,
still the sacrifice is required and the pain of the separation is not
lasting.  

Usually, these kinds of sacrifices are made a little at a time. Then
you find that miraculously not only did you survive this sacrifice,
but you are better for it and you see that you were dragging a dead
weight that was holding you back. There are times when you might
receive comfort from your memories and misplaced hopes, but in the
end, you must walk forward on your own path and communicate with the
Father through your own soul and walk to eternity with him.  

So, don't feel sad about circumstances or people that you couldn't
change.   Allow yourselves the freedom to sacrifice unwanted baggage. 
 The willingness to sacrifice certain things helps, but the
willingness to sacrifice anything is ultimate freedom.  Have the faith
and the courage to sacrifice those things that you know you should.

 Sometimes its like a tree that is sickly and bearing bitter fruit. 
 The gardener, digs around the roots, shocking the tree, then gives it
 food and prunes away the dead branches.  Only then does the tree
 begin to grow into its real potential.  There is always some pain and
 heartache preceding growth and vibrancy in your lives.  

Have faith, my children, all will be well and correctly understood in
the final analysis of your lives.  At this stage, you live amid pain,
uncertainty, and disappointment. But, you must understand that these
are the ingredients that make you grown.  They are the digging around
the roots.  Are there any questions?

Q: When you say we sacrifice these relationships and things that are
obstacles, I know you give us the story of the tree.  In the tree the
gardener is taking something there and making it better.  In the
beginning when you said sacrifice the relationships I took it to mean
that you said to get away from them or eliminate them from you life,
How should I understand this?  There are many relationships I could
get away from.

Ham: Sometimes, it's the actual removal that is required, but usually
when I speak of sacrifice I am referring to the sacrifice of a
dependency or some emotional clinging that needs severing. Sometimes
this requires the physical separation as well, but not always. Is this
aiding your understanding?

Q: Yes.

Q: Our culture understands sacrifice somewhat differently than the way
you presented it.  Historically, we have this ideas that sacrifice
means giving up all that is pleasurable. There is this underlying idea
that if we enjoy something it must be bad.  I don't think this is what
you mean.  Can you distiguish between your meaning of sacrifice and
the idea that we must give up pleasure or enjoyment because that is
bad?

Ham: Well, there are true and false pleasures.  A pleasure can become
a vice that then becomes a drag on your spiritual development, but
that does not mean that all pleasure is undesirable.  Look closely at
the Master's life, he lived his life in such a way as to experience a
great deal of pleasure even though this was at various times in his
life frowned upon by society.  What society views as moral and immoral
changes over the years. For example, in Jesus's time he enjoyed
drawing, but in that society it was viewed as immoral to indulge in an
idolatrous undertaking.   So, this is not what I am talking about, but
what society views as right or wrong as moral or immoral. The
sacrifices each individual must make only he knows or she knows what
they are. For every person they are unique, and as you grow in the
spirit these sacrifices change. But for each person they are
different. One person might worship wealth and need to sacrifice that
attitude.  Another might have unreal expectations and so on and so
forth.  These things I have enumerated.  Is this helping?

Q: Would it be fair to say that the sacrifice that you are talking
about leads in the long run to a happier fuller and more contented
existence?

Ham: Yes.

Q: These addictions, these things that have to be let go of, do they
always stem from a desire to find comfort in something other than
spiritual energies?

Ham: Yes

Q: Since nothing other than speiritual energies give us that
fulfillment, it is like chasing a ghost?

Ham: Correct, exactly

Q: I am not an expert on anything in this life, but I come closest to
being an expert on dependency and all its ramifications, you would
think that to understand it as well as I do, or as well as many of us
to, it would be easy or certainly possible to make the adjustment. 

Ham: Correct.

Q: But obviously it is not.

Ham: Not possible or not easy

Q: It is not easy.

[laughter]

Q: It seems so simple, you know, the adjuster gently urges us to
slowly turn towards positive polarity, it is so simple, yet ..

Q: Fear

Q: Fear is the negative end of it, it's the friction

Q: That brings me to a question. My son said there are only two things
that matter, love and fear.  Is that true, are those the only two
basic real things?

Ham: They are the polar opposites of the spectrum of human reactions.
One is the  animal based fear, fear of the world, the other is the
spiritual based love for the world.  One can look at the total breadth
of human reactions and they are always an expression of one or the
other or both.

Q: The world meaning reality?

Ham: Yes

Q: Reality meaning God?

Ham: Yes.

Q: So, what we are most afraid of is God, which is all love and all
good?

Ham: I suppose, the animal instinct is often at odds with the
spiritual urge.

Q: The animal fear of being consumed?

Ham: Correct


Q: I find that I an not only unwilling to let go of some of these
things, I am also unwilling sometimes to even look at them.  I suspect
others have the same problem too.

Ham: For every person, there is a time lag between the actual time
when something should be let go and the time when the person is ready
to let go. This time element is also individual and should not be
arbitrary.  Often things are obvious to everyone else but you, so to
speak. But this doesn't mean you can be pushed into making a decision
prematurely.  When the time is right, the decision comes easily, but
before that, these decisions are a struggle.

Q: Even if the person is not ready, but know that it should be done,
it is hard and so forth, but shouldn't they just go ahead and do it?

Ham: I have to refrain from making a comment with such wide
implications. Each circumstance is unique.  Some people do best with
forcing themselves, others do not. It's individual.

Q: The Master said in the Urantia book, he warned his disciples to not
get lazy and take their hand from the plough lest their seraphim leads
them into troubled times to spur them on. Would you comment on that
and I wonder how close I am to that situation.  I had always hoped to
stay ahead of that.

Ham: This admonition was for the disciples who were easily distracted
from the whole- hearted dedication to the spiritual life.  You are not
so easily distracted. Do not fear that you will be led into perilous
adventures.

Q: That's good to hear. Going along with this topic, it's
disconcerting to me that everything I have ever quit, it was a matter
of hours or days before I was fixing to die from it. It's discouraging
and it s a pattern that is depressing and discouraging to me. Can I go
ahead and widen this into my usual question.

Ham: Don't get discouraged, son, you are securely on the road to
recovery from all addictions.  You are reflecting on the understanding
that you feel defeated. You are learning things concerning the inner
life that you are allowed to explore. Be happy that you have this
opportunity and glad to be under the Father's watchful gaze. Choose
happiness, be of light heart and cheerful countenance.  All is well.

Q: Do you have anything for Rebecca?

Ham: Yes, Rebecca, you are doing very well and are really coming into
a time of spiritual fruit bearing when you'll be involved with the
lives of others and are called to follow the Father's leading.  

Q: Anything for Esmirelda?

Ham": Child, don't fear, everything is as it should be at this time.
Don't worry about others for they are cared for in the morontial and
spiritual realms as are you.  All will be given that which is needed.
Don't worry, you are going through a time of uncertainty and
restlessness which is natural.  Have patience and understanding all is
well.

Q: Elena?

Ham: Be careful to use all your inner resources now you need to have
strength and confidence for all will be alright.  

Q: I have to call Mirriam back tonight, would you like to say anything
to her and her husband?

Ham: No, not at this time.

Q: Do you have any advice for me?

Ham: Yes, thank you for asking. Your life is certainly being filled
with love and friendships. You are an easily opened person who is
easily able to receive comfort and support.  This openness is a
blessing and you should be thankful for your great spiritual capacity
for love.  Let love be the focus of your life.  Allow yourself to love
freely and allow yourself to receive love freely.  

Q: Ham do you have any feedback for me tonight?

Ham: Yes, you are making great progress Brodan. Your life is easier
than it was and you are happier than you were say five years ago.  
Little by little, you are learning to be open and vulnerable in
allowing love in from all directions.  The greater spiritual nature is
beginning to outshine all the intellectual assertions and defensive
reactions that used to more or less dominate your worldly interaction.
 Let your spiritual being grow unhampered, allow the heart center to
expand wider and wider. Imagine it expanding to a city block and then
a city and on and on onto infinity.  Don't be fearful of anything, you
have the answer already. 

Q: I would appreciate any advice Ham.

Ham: Vontis, you are slowly making progress as well.  Don't worry that
everything isn't completed already. Just be and be happy, thankful,
and worshipful with the Father's love and all will be alright. 

Q: Ham, do you have anything for me.

Ham: Certainly. Be careful not to strive with men, but to love each
man as your misguided and perhaps erring brother.  Allow yourself the
freedom to love without judgment or fear. The lessons of fatherhood
are gradually soaking in, and you are beginning to be able to see all
men as the Father sees them and now you must allow yourself to love
them as the father does.  This loving attitude is easy for you, have
the  courage to see it through and you will soon discover the wonder
of seeing the world through new eyes and feeling your heart to be
transformed. Fear not, son, all experience is real and ultimately
purposeful.  

If there is nothing further to relate, I will take my leave.

 
**************************************************
David Schlundt, Ph.D.           Voice: 615-322-7800
Associated Professor of Psychology
301 Wilson Hall                   Fax: 615-343-8449
Vanderbilt University
Nahsville, TN  37240         
********* schlundg at ctrvax.vanderbilt.edu **********
Modern science, particularly psychology, has weakened only those religions which are so
largely dependent upon fear, superstition, and emotion.
Paper-99 Section-4 Para-8        Page-1090 Line-21 Para-4
The Urantia Book