[tmtranscripts] Pocatello Transcript 4-23-99

[Bill Kelly]

April 23, 1999

Daniel (Bob S.): My children. This is Daniel. I stand before you, yet, you
see me not. But you know it is I, for my words ring true. The words I have
spoken to you over these many years now fill much space.  And it has been my
pleasure to speak to you over this period of time. 

We now, you and I, enter a new phase during which some may be tested.  All
will be challenged, for growth comes only with effort. One develops only
when one is challenged. True growth is the result of problem-seeking,
problem-solving. But you know this. I am saying nothing new to those hearing
my words tonight. 

Do not be alarmed. Your foundation is strong. Your compass is steady.  The
horizon looms before you. Have faith, my friends. You are not alone at the
tiller. 

You are now imagining all kinds of things. I know you, my children. Do not
be alarmed. Rather, accept this challenge with the grace and courage, the
intelligence and stamina that I know you all possess. 

Gradually, over the next few weeks, you will begin to see and hear and know
where we are headed. Rather than being fearful, be excited. Rather than
being distraught, be hopeful. Rather than allowing your human side to take
control, allow your spiritual side to assume leadership. Well, that
concludes my introductory remarks. Please stand by. 

Aaron:   Friends, I am Aaron. Good evening. We find in our observance of you
throughout this week that you have had challenges of varying nature. And on
the heels of our discourse and discussion with you last week we intend to
ask you a few questions, if we may. 

The topic of spreading the good news was at the forefront and thus will this
be the source of the topic from which we will discuss regarding your
experiences in the time since.  

Bob, my friend. How are you doing?

Bob Schreiber: Very well, thank you.

Aaron: It has been my pleasure to work with you this week. I am interested
in having you look back and perhaps relate regarding some interaction you
have had since our last meeting, if you could. See if you can coordinate the
topic of being about the Father's business and spreading the good news with
some incident during the week.  (Long pause)

Bob Schreiber: You're going to have to help me. I can't think of any.  Can
you give me a hint? (Laughter)

Aaron: I am not thinking of a particular incident so much as desiring to
discourse with you on the impact of the lessons and how you applied those
ideas in your life this week. 

Bob Schreiber: You're sure it was me? I'm really drawing a blank. I don't
think I'm blocking you but nothing's coming through. Maybe it's because I'm
a year older.  (More laughter)

Aaron: Bob. How was your week?

Bob Schreiber: My week was wonderful.

Aaron: Can you relate some of the things you did this week?

Bob Schreiber: I was so tied up with the funeral I can't think of anything
else. I don't do funerals well. I had to do one this week.  That's all I can
think of.

Aaron: How did this impact you?

Bob Schreiber: More than I thought. It was an older gentleman that was
failing badly and everyone around him said, "Why can't he go?" We've all
been there, done that. And when he finally did go, I thought I was ready.
But I wasn't ready. I had feelings and I was quite surprised over it. I was
really quite saddened. And that surprised me. I thought I was
psychologically ready for his passing and I wasn't.     

Aaron: When you look at your feelings do you have a sense of where the
sadness lies?

Bob Schreiber: No, its difficult to put a finger on that. A loss of a good
friend. A very caring, wonderful man. Probably the most loving, one of the
few, loving men in my life! Most of the loving has been from females in my
existence. And so just a sadness of his passing and knowing he won't be
around. There is a certain amount of sadness in that. And perhaps thinking
of my own demise, my own death. Thanks to Virginia, I had a birthday, I got
two years older this year. So possibly that. I don't know.

Aaron: Indeed, I am glad that you could share as you did regarding your
emotions and feelings. 

Bob Schreiber: For months I've been trying to completely accept the Father's
will in my life and I feel blocked. I feel like I've gone as far as I can
go, that I'm stuck at this level.

Aaron: If I were to ask you what you feel personally the Father's will is in
your life, how would you respond?

Bob Schreiber: I would say clearly to disseminate the Good News 2. The news
of the spiritual revelation we're now immersed in. The Urantia Book and all
that it means and now the Teaching Mission added to that and all that seems
to be opening up. That there seems to be this dawning. The sun seems to be
coming up on a new world. It's the same old world but it's different somehow. 

Aaron: In knowing or sensing this calling for yourself, have you been able
to find avenues to explore this potential service?

Bob Schreiber: Oh, yes. Yes, I do the monthly newsletter - the Good News 2
as it's called. And I still preach on occasion, whenever they will let me
from the pulpit. When they get desperate enough, "Yeah, Schreiber will do
it." And doing a weekly Urantia Book study group. 

But I think there's more. I don't think that's it. I think something else is
out there. I don't know what it is. I just have that feeling.

Aaron: You have indeed related well regarding the topic this evening. And I
appreciate your sharing and putting up with my probing. Thank you, friend.

Aaron:  Gwen, good evening. I have missed your presence, and I am glad to
see you this evening. Your life seems to have many changes going on, does it
not?

Gwen: Yes.

Aaron: How do you manage your spirituality in relationship to the other
demands in your life?

Gwen: I've actually missed that good spiritual connection that I had before
I picked up another job and increased my responsibility. It kind of whacked
my quiet time and meditation. And I'm hoping that it's just because of the
newness of this schedule and I'm hoping that I'll be able to adjust soon.
But there's always the constant probing that I feel from my teachers. I
always feel that I'm not lost. I feel like I'm still continuously aware of
God's will and it just hasn't been a set schedule.  It's just there within
reach at all times, which is good.

Aaron: Do you see the increased activity in your life to be carrying you
away from spirituality? Or can you see the opportunities more as a
challenge, so to speak, to take your inner knowing and begin to expand it
increasingly in other areas of your life, even with the busier schedule?

Gwen: Yes! Actually I've always felt the busier I am the more I get done and
I think that's somewhat on the emotional, intellectual level as well. For
example, I've been faced with the big issue this week, on a personal
emotional level, that would be "liking somebody." That is so scary to me
because of everything that's happened over the last year especially with the
situation of my father. It's a constant battle to continue in the path where
I want to go and not be persuaded by what I think I should be doing. And I
was able to share this with the individual just last night. And the fact he
understood and listened to my whole explanation as to why I have an
incredible stage fright about becoming emotionally or intimately attached
with somebody. And because he understood what I was saying to him, it made
me like him even more, which was even more scary. But it was really neat to
connect on that level with somebody and he was able, in return, to say that
I'm not responsible for his being there. But I've told him where I am right
now and he will continue on in a relationship with me that is not defined
because I cannot define it right now. I'm not able to. So that was very,
very rewarding.

Aaron: Thank you for sharing. I am curious if you feel your relationship to
your Indwelling Spirit and the teachers and the spiritual presence, does
this aid you in feeling strong enough to express yourself more clearly with
others?

Gwen: Definitely. Definitely. It's like I feel they are guiding me.
Because, gosh, it's so scary to make yourself vulnerable to tell this person
your deepest issues because you want to be honest with them from the
beginning and not have him have expectations I can't fulfill.  It's
something that's really scary and there was someone guiding me along. And I
felt that there was a load taken off my shoulders and it was a physical
release off my shoulders. And I was really happy to have someone on the
other side that was able to listen and be a caring person.

Aaron: Thank you, again. I personally wanted to make note of some awareness
that I have gained in working indirectly with you  through your teachers. I
sense a greater understanding of your worth blossoming inside of you and
want to amplify this awareness by making note of my observance of the fact,
and my obvious agreement and support for your increasing sense of self
worth. You are beautiful to behold. And in this process, thank you for
allowing me some participation in your life.

Gwen: Thank you.
 
Aaron: I do not intend to ask questions of each of you. But rather had 3
different people in mind, this evening. So, Roxy I would like to take this
opportunity to share with you if you would be willing.

Roxy: Sure. 

Aaron:  This past week, I would appreciate if you could share any
experiences or poignant moments of value for you for our edification, if you
could.

Roxy: Very powerful week. It would take up the rest of the time. I think
that the culminating message to me was "sharing." That it is about not being
afraid to share. Not being afraid of anything. That my life is open. My life
is welcoming and loving to everything that God would have on the plate - to
the teaching, the learning, the experience, and knowing that sharing is
godlike. He has shared himself with me. And I in turn want to share
everything with God and with my fellow man. And with no fear of the
consequences of this or anything. 

Aaron: Have you a particular instance that can help to amplify this profound
awareness that you have had?

Roxy: Well, the thing that will effected me the most was that I quit my job
and am trusting in the Lord more and experiencing the anxiety of that kind
of freedom. Freedom is a tremendous obligation. There's tremendous fear of
being free from all obligations completely. But I felt that I was to do it.
It's as though when we leave here we'll use our headlights to go down the
mountain. And to me, that's exactly what the Spirit has been to me this
week. "This is the path. Walk therein."  And like the headlights are
shining. And if I want to walk in a different path, it's going to be
completely dark. And it's a little absurd to walk where the headlights are
not shining. 

Aaron:   That makes sense.

Roxy:  It did to me. So, I propose to live just like we will drive home.
And I will drive home to St. Anthony with the headlights shining not a whole
lot down the road, but, yes, illuminating the path that I "Walk therein."

Aaron (Bob Divine): Thank you for your relating.  How do you see the path
being illuminated from here? Do you find more of an inclination to be fully
focused on the moment or do you sense  particular direction at
this time in your life?

Roxy: I have been challenged as it says in Hebrews to "enter into the rest."
I love working. I love picking up garbage, and everything. I love working. I
love work, period. It's a very big challenge for me not to work. And yet
that seems to be the direction right now, to not work.

I've studied perpetual Sabbath for decades. And what the Sabbath means, to
not work. To not strive with life. And I'm completely compatible with  it. I
haven't worked for decades. I've simply done what I wanted to do and enjoyed
it. But to actually not get paid at all for it...it's very interesting. I
look forward to the education. It promises to be very educational to me.
Because its something clearly I didn't choose for myself. I have loved the
people that I've worked with, I've loved the people I've come in contact
with every day. And to have to leave. And yet I know that they will be
better off if I leave. It's the way the Lord works. He often tells me,
"Roxy, I don't want you to work there any more; so I can." And I believe
that he will.
 
Aaron: Again, thank you, friend for sharing your faith with us here tonight.
And at this time I will move aside so that one of my colleagues take this
evening into its conclusion. Good night.

Nebadonia (Bill): My dears. I am your Mother, Nebadonia, speaking to you
this evening, as I am always present in your minds and in your hearts.

Michael challenged you to go forth and reap the harvest to take advantage of
every opportunity to shine God's light on your brothers and sisters. My
words, this evening, are the other side of that coin, as it were. I wish
that you understand that when you strive to spread good news, the good news
of your sonship/ daughtership, the good news that love is the ultimate
reality in the universe, that you be in a state of profound rest so that the
striving does not fatigue you; so that you run and not be weary but rather,
catching the currents of love, you lift yourself upon eagles wings and soar
effortlessly. 

As a mother cradles her infant child to her breast and sustains that child
physically, but also emotionally, so do I press all of you to my heart of
love. As you abide in Michael, abide also in me. You have your true
Father/Brother. And you have your true Mother. We are your Creators. You are
our children. 

There is no limit to love. It does not parcel out its gifts with measure.
No.  Love is self-renewing and eternal, shall overcome all impediments, all
barriers, and like a mighty flood-tide, cover this sorry planet until it
blooms forth, rejoicing in the springtime of Light and Life! 

Many are my thoughts toward you all, for each of you is a precious child to
me! I embrace you, my dear ones. Feel this love in your deepest soul recess.
Good evening. 

Daniel (Bill): I am Daniel. I am in awe of our divine Parents! And I
appreciate the words of our Mother.

There has been enough thoughts and concepts presented to fill your plates to
overflowing. Therefore we will now take our leave of you at this time. I
look forward to our next get-together. Good evening.