[tmtranscripts] Olfana: "Seeking Change & Letting Go"

[Susan Kimsey]

Hi Everyone,

Ever since I found out about the small mass of cancer that they
removed with my appendix, I have been in an emotional quandary about
what to do about it.  My surgeon is recommending removing about 1
third of my large intestine, part of my abdominal wall, and a few
inches of my small intestine.  Add to that five weeks of radiation and
chemotherapy!  My soul is screaming "NO!" and I am reading everything
I can about alternatives to surgery as a treatment for cancer.  I am
reevaluating every morsel of food that I put in my mouth, and looking
at my stockpile of stored resentments, anger, and other unlovely
thoughts, attitudes, and unforgiven relationships.

Ever since my surgery, I have been wishing for a message from Olfana,
but I felt far too emotional to hear anything clearly.  Then, earlier
today, I began to feel a nudge to browse through my transcripts,
looking for inspiration.  Lo and behold, I came across this lesson
from Olfana that I had never yet edited, and had totally forgotten
about.....My, how the universe cares for us, even when we are too
scared to trust in it. ;-)  I feel like this lesson from Olfana is all
I need to contemplate for the time being, and I hope you find it
useful, too.

Love,

Up-Against- The-Wall Susan
______________________________________________

A lesson on "Seeking Change and Letting Go" by Olfana    12/19/98

I am Olfana who speaks to you, now.  There are moments in all of our
lives where we will face this question of "a loss."  A loss of
what?--a loss of our personality, a loss of our position in life, a
loss in our relationship standings with others, a loss of self-pride
and a sense of accomplishment, a loss of our integrity, perhaps?  I
would say to you that the first step to the resolution of your
question of how to reconcile yourself to a sense of loss is to ask
yourself, "What now am I giving up?"  Ponder this carefully.  "What
exactly is it that is at issue here, in terms of what I am walking
away from?"  If you will allow yourself a sense of contemplation
regarding this, you will come to understand better which "parts of
yourself," as it were, are responding to this challenge.  If this is
ego-based in terms of your choice, you will find yourself filled with
many disturbing emotions--a sense of fear, perhaps, a sense of
anxiety, bursts of anger which can rise up in you.  This is not,
indeed, the best position from which to make this decision.  I'm sure
you understand this, already.  But, even this brief contemplation that
you will give this process will allow you better to determine which
"part of yourself" is indeed responding to this question.

If, as you continue to ponder this question of, "Shall I give this
 up?" you begin to feel more a sense of centeredness about yourself, a
sense of calm contemplation, that ideas can flow through your mind
more easily without this sense of emotional turmoil and uproar, then
you are getting to the "bedrock of yourself" --this connection that
can allow contemplation, input, revelation, and encouragement from the
Thought Adjuster.  When you find yourself able to contemplate this
question of "what you are to give up" with a calmer demeanor, then you
are in a place of real productivity in the process.  At this point, it
is best to ask yourself not only, "Can I give this up?"  "Will I give
this up?" but also, "What can be gained from this process?"

Always in our growth and evolution, as we face the tough choices of
life, there is, indeed, something important to be gained for our soul,
and this is where I would wish you to put your attention.  Not only on
the idea of what is to be, perhaps, abandoned, but what will
be --gained--.  Will you, in the process of letting something go,
giving something up, walking away from it, will you be garnering
something for yourself?  Will you be increasing in, perhaps, a sense
of service to others in the process?  Will you have gained a sense of
strength and fortitude in your nature?  Is this an ability of giving
something up which allows more self-discipline within you?  Are you,
in the process of this "letting go," perhaps, lightening your
emotional load?  Are you coming to understand that in walking away, or
giving up this thing, this possession, this pattern of habits, this
relationship, that you are perhaps opening yourself up to gain other
things, and new priorities might be set in this process?

Also, I would ask you to consider what in this process may be a
"modeling" to others?  If, in this process of giving something up, you
have, indeed, made others who care for you aware of this challenge in
your life, then you are, by your very example of how you go about
this, presenting a model to others that they may indeed be heartened
and encouraged by.  And this, again, is where I encourage you to give
the process a sense of deep contemplation, first.  Always, I would say
that in this process, a moment of prayer, a time of prayer, is best.
Ask that you be strengthened in your releasing yourself from
this--that you will, indeed, become a better man or woman, become a
clearer soul, become a greater person, in your own understanding of
the material possessions, the choices of habits, the patterns of
living, and the relationships, in your life.

I would also ask you to consider a sense of choice, that in the very
process of this contemplation, that you will be having many choices in
front of you, and it is, indeed, a --choice-- to walk away from the
possession of this thing, or this habit pattern, or this way of living
your life.  There is a choice in how you will face it, if it ever
rises again in your mind.  There is a choice in how you will discuss
it, choose to talk about it, as a part of your personal history, in
future times.  There is a choice in how much you will, indeed, work
with God, work with your Thought Adjuster's Guidance in this process.
It is not always easy for those who live a life on this planet to work
with God in these tough challenges.  It is so much more the case that
you hop into a situation with the ego, first, as in that expression,
"I will jump in 'feet first,' here."  (Smiling)  Well, "ego first" is
not the best way to approach any of these challenges of life, and yet
you see this as a model, as an example around you, constantly.  So, I
would close by saying to you that if you can indeed remember that you
are attempting to "jump into this" with God ready to catch you, then
you will find that all of what you may consider now "deep questions"
in this challenge will be mitigated.  And, you will come to discover
that this is not quite the loss that you thought it was.

Student:  Olfana, tell me again how to begin this process?

Olfana:  Remember that I said that first comes this choice of, "What
will I  be giving up?"  I am saying this is the process by which you
should focus yourself.

Student:  (Joking)  Could you just tell me what to do?

Group: [Much laughter.]

Student:  (Laughing)  Olfana, I want to speak to your supervisor.

Olfana:  (Smiling)  Believe it or not, my students, I am not the best
choice for that part of it.  You are.  And again, this is back to even
what the Teacher, Althena, said earlier in this transmission session--
"Consider how powerful you all are.  Consider how gifted you all are.
Consider how creative you all are."  You need to unfold yourselves, my
dear children.  Let this energy of love unfold you.  Open up your
petals!  You can take on in life even so much more than you think you
can!  I know there have been those moments in the past when you have
felt a sense of defeat.  This can be overcome.  You are, indeed, God's
Children.  Never forget this!  And in this powerful definition of
yourselves, you are capable, most certainly, of climbing the mountains
of life.  You are responsive to the vistas that you will see!  You
are, indeed, empowered by what God has already given you in your
beings, and now the task before you is to take this, and make as much
of yourselves as you possibly can.

Half Moon Bay, CA Teaching Mission Group