[tmtranscripts] Personality Integration (05-13-97.BUT)

[Gerdean]

DATE: May 13, 1997
LOCATION: Butler, PA, USA
T/Rs: Gerdean and Hunnah

TEACHERS TOMAS and MERIUM
TOPIC: Personality Integration

TOMAS: Good evening, faithful flock. We must not make the mistake of believing that just because you are few in number that you are small in your effectiveness, for as even one stands before the Lord and offers himself in service, with the faith of the size of a mustard seed, that one alone can move mountains.

Student: Tomas, this is your studio. You're speaking to the world.

TOMAS: I am well aware of the broadcast system, but as you understand there is nothing more important than the work of one's realm, and I am begun with you who are in my immediate realm, for in service to you, we will serve the many. (Long delay.)

I will express this analogy of a sort that oftentimes when you have expended yourself in your material arena, or when you have fed yourself well, you become sluggish. Even as you abstain from your spirit circuits, you may become sluggish, and so often when I come to you in your configuration, it is like heaving you up; and although this is a little fish, I have had to heave her upon the spiritual shore and she feels like a whale.

I bring this analogy to your attention for sometimes in the process of coming on-line and becoming fully connected, it takes a moment of adjustment. As the mortal energies reach up and the spiritual energies reach down, this divine dance sometimes takes a few moments to become fluid. (It was simply a matter that the outside contribution caused a slight stumble; all is not lost.)

I am trying to work myself into a discourse. The connection is faint but it has been made. It has to do with your dignity status. It has to do with that realm of self-respect. Remember that the Master has said that self-respect will be restored to those of you who have lost it, and will be reduced for those of you who have over-much. And you here who are humble servants have a tendency to fall into that habit of under-estimating your own self-respect.

Much of this is because of your cultural conditioning and also much of it has to do with your religious conditioning. See that women have been regarded as helpmates and assistants and in many ways the inferior gender, second-class citizens; and also in terms of your religious conditioning, that self-effacing aspect of humility and turning the other cheek.

These have conspired to program you into attitudes that do not allow you to naturally lift yourself up, to naturally hoist yourself up onto the shores of spirit being. You hurry back to the warm waters of your culture, your conditioning. Of course, your growth indicates great improvement, but I will reiterate this truth again today, for I would like for you to incorporate this aspect of your personal growth, your personal correction, into our recent lessons having to do with personality, and also with the follow-up about the impulse to act when you are faced with a personality.

For how your personality is going to respond or react depends a great deal upon who you feel you are and what you feel is appropriate for you, particularly you as women who have been accustomed to not stalwartly standing abreast of your menfolk in spiritual equality and in human liberation.

There is some merit in pondering humility in terms of your approach to service. In the farther view, of course, it is the Father who does the work and we are his servants, but rather than maintain an attitude of servility, we would the better seek to serve through co-operation and indeed teamwork with all those spiritual forces and energies which conspire to lift us up, to lead us heavenward into those realms of Light and Life wherein you recognize your standing and your dignity status.

One might ask: How is it possible to stand tall, be dignified, profess a certain aspect of perfection, and yet remain truly humble? It is not a conflict to the sincere seeker of truth.

Merium, have you got your feet firmly on the ground? 

MERIUM: Yes, I would like to comment.

Our goal here is to express one personality, not to have a portion of yourself judging whether you are in your worldly state or whether you are in an exalted state that is applicable to any given situation. When you are at your best, there is an effortless flow and a dignity that parallels it, that allows you to participate appropriately in a given situation. And as this becomes more and more apparent to you, you will realize that you prefer to be this one expression and this one personality, and not that previous conditioning or strain to where the values and the principles that you have been taught. 

There is not a sense of a higher authority passing them out like rewards, but this quality of the fruits of the spirit is woven into one fine garment and one expression which is one you feel is "my best self" and when you are able to have this happen to you, everyone around you benefits. Those who want to behave in a better way are more apt to because the quality that you have achieved will enhance their finer demonstration.

Wearing your belief is what my message is about. Assisting you into an effortless awareness of observing what you want to be and that allows you natural dignity -- not artificial or false dignity. Wearing this new pattern that you have become -- all the time! Not just when you leave the house to go to the office or when you answer the phone. It will become such an established part of you that you won't have to, you might say, press a button and out comes the best you. It will become your natural state, even though it can be tested frequently; it is not a bullet-proof vest. It is just a refined quality of what you truly are in essence. Tomas?

TOMAS: The word 'noble' also enters in here, for as Merium states, this dignity is not an artificial dignity such as is seen in your courts and courts of old, but rather the regality of sonship, the nobility of divinity. Part of my desire to discuss this topic this evening has to do with the word "worthy" which I used in our discourse last Thursday in the Pittsburgh group, and there has been much consternation regarding the word "worthy" for some will beat their chest and declare their unworthiness before God as an example of one who is worthy; and there are those who feel that any indication of their own worth is egoistic, for they feel they have no right to aspire to divinity. And so this discourse has to do with how you feel about yourself in terms of your worth, but it is cloaked in the vernacular of self-respect and dignity.

Hunnah: This week I went back to work and I went to see my first client and I had the awareness of a poise that I'm not accustomed to, but that I would welcome to be in my demeanor at all times. It was as if it was my gift and my service, rather than the purpose for which I had arrived. Both were accomplished: the human need, at the level of the need, and the gift of this demeanor, as I would like to describe it, because I was aware of the patient (or, excuse me, the client) being aware of the difference.

In other words, it brought dignity to her to be addressed as someone of intelligence and dignity by the way I was approaching her. I'm probably not painting this picture well, but it probably was one of the most satisfying visits that I had, and I felt as if the level on which our exchange developed, was, in a sense, the healing aspect of the purpose of that visit rather than what it would normally have been.

And when you referred to dignity, it seems to me that when you approach anyone with an attitude that they deserve and have dignity, that that will click in place and it will affect the behavior of the individual with whom you are communicating. On the reverse side of the coin, which I also witnessed, was "well, you never did ..." or "well, you never could ..." in a conversation that I heard, and it's painful to watch how we unconsciously -- when we are operating at a lesser mode -- will tear down others around us.

So personality-wise, I was able to make these observations and also of an opportunities I've had to express my appreciation of assistance I've had and the effect it has upon the person that I had been with. This has sort of been in my heart and I appreciate the chance to be able to express it. Thank you.

TOMAS: Thank you, Hunnah. And I would like to confirm for you that much of your presentation of your self, your integrated personality, was resultant from the time you spent apart from the work world, taking care of yourself, finding a pace which was accommodating for you, and then easing your way into your work from this higher plane rather than a rat-a-tat approach to business as usual.

It is always a good practice to slow down. Remember that Jesus himself was seldom in a hurry and that you can function infinitely better when you are operating in and through the spirit, which also is seldom in a hurry.

It sounds, in your recital, very much as if you were serving God in your work today rather than serving mammon, with the slight exception of your reference to your sister or brother as a patient or a client -- which places it back into the academic and conditioning mode and impersonalizes it; removes the dignity.

Hunnah: I'm glad you said that because that is exactly what I don't like to do. I guess I was just reaching for a word. But that is true, what you said, is that when you go around and you're back at the humdrum level, you don't think you are, but you are if you are referring to "them" or "patients." I like to think they are simply stops that I make during the course of the day when I'm out of the humdrum mode.

That applies to everyday life, though, when you're just doing a routine errand; we're allowed to lift everything up.

TOMAS: Indeed. And you must yourself remain lifted into your own integrated personality. It is correct that the ideal is for the human and the divine to function together, but in perspective.

Leah: I'm just listening. 

TOMAS: What do you hear?

Leah: On the human plane, I heard Hunnah discussing the caseload was real people instead of numbers.

TOMAS: I am more interested, Leah, in what your soul has heard rather than what your ears have heard. Am I meddling?

Leah: No, you're not. I get into the comparative mode, I guess.

TOMAS: Are you comparing your aspect of personality with itself or are you comparing yourself with others or are you comparing others to something?

Leah: Maybe you can answer that for me. I don't really know! It's all twirling around in a little ball.

TOMAS: It has certainly struck some kind of a chord. I feel you flutter. I would like to instill in you an understanding of this value lesson, for you are worthy of its comprehension and its manifestation. You are a noble woman, as well as a refreshing child, and there is no need to compare one against the other, for they are both you, and different times call for different facets of personality expression, all of which, in the ideal, are facets of the Father-bestowed personality.

It is that unfortunate discharge of conditioned responses which are set to undermine your own appreciation of your Father-bestowed personality, and those pesky conditionings are what stand in your way of believing that you are a rich woman, robust, abundant, strong, capable, noble, dignified and worthy of the love of God and of his sons and daughters.

Arm yourself, Leah, with your spiritual family. Garner from them those strengths which will allow yourself to be heaved onto the shore of your own spirit nature, your own well-founded, well-grounded, Father-bestowed personality -- that personality aspect of you which is filled with your own radiant purpose.

I do not offer these words as a command, my dear, but as encouragement, and again as confirmation for you, for your conditioning is deep-seated and like Jasmine, who has accompanied Hunnah in her growth this week, Jay-Orzj is at hand to accompany you in your investigations of your own spirit nature and how it is that the ghost of Christmas past continues to haunt you today.

Leah: Thank you. I generally understand you when I'm sitting in this room and I intellectually understand the things that you say and I feel a gut reaction, which, I think that's the soul reaction to the words you said. And I understand you're not speaking to just me but to everyone equally, but when I review the week ... that's where the comparitiveness comes in.

TOMAS: How it is that you compare?

Leah: I just don't know how to live it! I mean, I think I'm doing okay, but then when I hear you talk, I don't think I do anymore. But yet I really know that all is well. So perhaps I ... I know that it is a learning process.

TOMAS: Child, you are your own worst enemy. I wish that you could see from my perspective how much you have grown, even in the short period of time that I have been here as your teacher -- and I do not take responsibility for your soul growth, for your development. These are steps that you have taken of and for yourself and for your relationship with Our Father.

You have not perhaps the perspective, but begin to convince yourself of how much you have grown. Begin to confirm for yourself how far you have come. Ask your personal teacher to reveal to you some examples of how it is that you respond to life today compared to how you responded to the same situations a year ago, or ten years ago, and see if indeed you cannot determine for yourself how you have grown.

If you can credit yourself with your faith steps, you will begin to see, in yourself -- not through my words, but through your own reflections -- your own value, your own worth, your own self-respect. You will then embrace yourself more readily for the steps you have trod. You will be more encouraged then to assume success in your daily living.

No one has yet convinced you how worthy you are and it is for you to personally go to the Father and allow Him to elevate you to your true status. Feel Him and you will know; and no matter, then, how insignificant your interchanges may appear, no matter how foolhardy your relationships may seem, no matter what, you will have that perspective of your own contact with divinity, indeed, your own divinity status through Him, that will confirm for you how real you are, through Him, and how important your work is and what a good job you have done!

You have been given lots of assignments, many colorful and difficult assignments. Your conditioning has contributed to your distresses, but they have also contributed to your adventures! Assimilate these unto yourself and be proud of your life: how you have come through it; how you have triumphed over many odds; how your spirit has prevailed through thick or thin, for even now, you sit eagerly and humbly in the presence of God and your peers in the spirit, and are at home with us.

Leah: Your words are very reassuring.

TOMAS: I seek to strengthen you and for you to strengthen yourself in Him who is your great strength. Now. Merium?

MERIUM: Leah, please do not feel that this is a game of tennis this evening and you are being the ball. I would like to address the needs of reality living in human form and this is indeed the quandary. Humanly, needs -- emotional needs, especially, in a woman -- when they are missing, leave a terrible emptiness. And if you live long enough without them, you fail to expect results or to even address the fact that one does have emotional needs.

The word "champion" has come to my mind and I was thinking how we are secretly, but without definition, longing for a champion --someone who will really understand and take our cause. If you live in a house full, without any understanding or appreciation of the level of reality that you have touched upon, a great pain can develop because there is no echo or harmony to the sounds that you have learned. And in this longing, even though you find in the forest some like-minded souls to companion you on this journey, the immediate day-by-day stress can become cumulative.

So in this need, for the absence you might say of the recognition of one requiring a champion, you can continue to struggle and not see any results of the masterful strides that you have made. I am asking you to allow yourself to become your own champion. Tomas has addressed the word courage and strength to you. You have it in you.

One of the favorite subjects these days, to those who are on the journey and tramping about in metaphysics and parapsychology, is the development of the male and the female qualities of an individual, and how women are developing their masculine qualities and using them as warriors in many cases, and their feminine, who they have diagnosed to be in terrible straits, like some type of wounded individual on a battle-field. This has created great drama in society today, but in truth it is the development of a release of an already whole and balanced and integrated personality that is light-filled and all-knowing.

In this higher way, we do not want you to see yourself as a divided household, but the dawning of a total individual who does not need to be repaired and who does not need to go around bankrupt or guilty. I want you to see that you are to be the champion of the

Cause of this perfection that is coming into expression in you.

You reach, with compassion, to many around you. The compassion must be applied to yourself. You have all that you seek. If I could come down to you physically, I would put my arms around you. We all long to feel this touch. And in the human form, we are allowed to receive it.

During Hunnah's rather pleasant confinement, she has found that for the first time in her life, she has had a block of time given to her where she has been allowed to be good to herself, and therefore this that she has sought has made itself known, because she has allowed herself to be good to herself. It will not be as easy when the tempo picks up, but if you could treat yourself as if you are in charge of your own care and make it the most important part of your agenda, the fruitage will be great. All the concerns that haunt you or have left you to feel empty, and misunderstood, will be set aside while you continue to nurture that which you hope to become, that which you truly are, and everything which you will be involved in will be lifted. You will know. You will know, and THIS is the only issue at hand. This is the only issue at hand.

I hope that my words have come upon you like a soft rain. I hope they soothe you and that all the longing for credibility from the arena that has no credibility will fall away into the background like a gentle landslide and these false values that you have carried with you as armor will get lighter and lighter. You have chosen the best part. Do not slow down the process by bringing crumbs of the past. There is so much waiting for you, but your hands must be empty to receive it.

How dearly loved you are and I'm so pleased that you are so loyal and trusting that you have come here and revealed yourself so that we can teach through your needs. It will help many, because they will be able to reflect also on their own situations and take a look at their priorities. Thank you, Tomas.

TOMAS: Thank you, Merium. Brava! Indeed, you have recapped a year's worth of lessons on personal correcting and growth in your wonderful words, which do indeed fall like rain, a gentle spring rain upon the hungry earth.

Leah: I appreciate that, too. In my journal I -- well, I don't know if I do it or not, but I always sign, "Love and light are showered upon you. Love, Jay-Orzj."

TOMAS: A well-turned phrase, indeed.

Hunnah: In a couple of papers we have talked about this being a love tryst, an escape, and I remember when I was journaling, that's exactly the affection and appreciation that I felt was not present in my daily life. I felt as if I entered the arms of the true Lover who understood me in a way that I could scarcely understand myself. And the satisfaction derived from this is so comforting and strengthening, I really wish more people were able to allow themselves to indulge in this type of love-letter.

TOMAS: Recently I had an opportunity to have an in-depth and quality conversation with a young woman who chatted with me regarding her emotional circumstances. I had also chatted with her husband, and the scenario revealed the truth of the postulation that there is built within the psychological make-up of the human being that which reaches out to be held fast in mutual embrace, and although your understanding may be that it is animal magnetism or a facet of procreation or even in tactile appreciation and affection, the truth is that yearning is based upon your need to feel the great embrace of the Beloved Bridegroom, for indeed once you have been held in His embrace, all other embraces pale in comparison, and this is rightfully so.

It also allows the mortal to appreciate the relative nature of these embraces, for much of today's difficulties in terms of women's liberation and social mores and so forth, has to do with the heroics of husbands and the devotions of wives in the mistaken notion that this embrace will fulfill all yearnings of the soul, and although there is much merit to the family value and the entire scheme of relationship as established by the Father in heaven, that yearning which you feel is for the spiritual embrace, and as has been said, if you can accept that spiritual embrace into your life now and find its comfort, its security, its satisfaction, its warmth, its encouragement and so on, ad infinitum, you will not ever feel lonely. Even though you may feel alone and without a partner in the standard romantic sense of the word, you will have become partners with the Beloved and you will not feel alone.

This may sound like rhetoric to many of you, but it is truth, and it is soul satisfaction, and this pinnacle of reality and reality functioning provides, then, all of your mortal relationships with an added dimension of love, one which will permeate your environment and allow His love to reign indeed upon all those you meet. And truly this is the great romance, the great adventure.

I feel a certain settling of energy. I perceive a certain pacification attainment.

Hunnah: I sense the settling of a satisfaction, as if something had been taken care of and entering a rest. We can be talked to and talked to and talked to, but we have to let our words enter our cells, the cells of our body, and it becomes the manna. I was thinking of a song a friend wrote while I was in Infinite Way. The words go something like: "I have meat the world knows not of." And there were many stanzas in that song and it was very beautiful and it just fit because we're talking about a secret life that's becoming more public as we wear it. Our other church called it witnessing, but the best witnessing is silent.

TOMAS: This silence speaks volumes, for there are they who will look at you and recognize you, recognize that you have been with the Master, will recognize the God-consciousness within you, and even though you may all carry with you different philosophies or theologies, different tenets or creeds or scaffolding, if you have been touched by the Master, if you know Him, you will recognize your brothers and sisters in the spirit as those who have also been touched by Him. And so sometimes silence is even better, for when you start talking and muddling it up with intellectualizations and historic references, you can prematurely muddy the waters.

And that brings me back around to the assignment from last Thursday, that being to behold the personality and as you feel the impulse to act after that personality, how will you respond? Where are your motives? Are they in line with the Master's ideals? Are they in keeping with His will? Or are they self-serving? Are they lesser conditionings? Are they lower motives than you are capable of promoting?

It is an interesting assignment, for you are constantly encountering personalities and constantly feeling the impulse to act. What a cinema of opportunity for you to act for Him if you will let Him.
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